The Spice Rack
by ilovetvalot
Summary: When JJ gets tagged for an undercover assignment, hilarity follows. This will feature all characters. Written in response to the TV Prompt Challenge.
1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note: As always, we need to think Kavi Leighanna and Sienna27 for the awesome TV Prompt Challenge! Please, let us know what you think.**

**The Spice Rack**

**Chapter One**

_**Prompt: Sabrina, The Teen-aged Witch - "The Pom Pom Incident"**_

Jennifer Jareau stared in horror at the sight before her, her addled mind reeling at the sight. THIS was why she went to college?

Cringing at her reflection in the mirror above the white porcelain sink in the ladies bathroom, she shook her head morosely. "You've got to be kidding me here," she whispered to herself, slowly lifting a hand to push her heavy blonde hair back and pull it up into a tight ponytail. Frowning once again, she recalled the days when she'd been a green agent, fresh out of the Academy. Back then, she'd fantasized about these moments. She'd romanticized them. She'd spun them into a hazy web of glamour and justice, secrecy and dedication to duty.

But reality was so much harsher than fantasy.

It wasn't like this was her first undercover assignment. Far from it. She'd been a guidance counselor, a nurse, a secretary, a stock broker…and even once, years ago when her face had still had that innocent glow, a high school student. But never, not once, had she been approached for something like this.

A fucking stripper.

No, scratch that. Not just any stripper would do for this job. No, she was a fucking cheerleader stripper!

Glaring into the mirror one last time at the shocked face that stared back at her, she snatched her assigned cheerful pom poms off the sink. Hiding in the BAU bathroom wasn't going to solve their case any quicker, now was it?

Exiting the restroom, she slowly made her way back to the war room's round table, taking the least traveled maze of hallways back to her destination. Ignoring the intermittent whistles and catcalls aimed in her direction, she kept her chin held high, mentally making a list of every male agent that dared to look at her in less than a professional manner. Looking neither left, nor right, as she progressed down the corridor, she reminded herself for perhaps the fortieth time since Hotch's phone call that she was a highly trained, well educated professional.

Even if she was dressed like some airhead cheerleader better suited for the latest teen horror movie than the hallowed halls of the FBI.

Stumbling slightly in the four inch heels that just had to be part of the outfit, JJ dropped her gaze to glare at the open-toed black stilettos on her feet. What the hell kind of fucked up cheerleaders wore stilettos anyway? Didn't they understand proper foot care anymore?

As she slammed open the door to the war room, she tried to ignore the way all conversation ceased as soon as she stepped inside. Qualified agent, she reminded herself as she felt the eyes of everyone in the room touching her barely concealed body. Just another job in her many varied duties.

"Holy cow," Penelope Garcia whispered, her eyes wide with surprise as she ran her eyes up and down JJ's body. Her fingers itched to grab her iPhone and record the sight for all of eternity, but she was fairly certain that the woman wearing the outfit would have different thoughts about that.

"Well, rah! Rah!" Morgan grinned with a wink, his eyes widening appreciatively as he leaned forward for a closer look. "I think we got ourselves a bona fide member of the pep squad. I wanna be the first to say, "Go, Team, Go!"

"I'm still armed," JJ bit out, her gaze focused on the well-built black man as she teetered into the room, her shoulders stiff underneath the half-shirt.

"I'm fairly certain that we didn't have those at any of the schools I went to," Reid whispered to Garcia, his eyes dilating in a decidedly unscientific manner as he found he couldn't quit staring at his teammate. "Do you think her pom poms came with the ensemble?"

"I see you found the outfit," Hotch remarked as calmly as possible, trying to choke back a chuckle as he watched his agent's face flush.

"Outfit? Surely you must be kidding. No, what I found were a few scraps of material to strategically cover my important parts," JJ retorted, glaring at her boss as she grabbed hold of the back of a chair to maintain her balance.

"Barely," Emily squeaked, getting a look at JJ's skirt from behind. "Don't bend over, Jayje," she offered sagely.

"Wasn't planning to," JJ replied, keeping her gaze focused on Hotch and ignoring the others. Drawing in a deep breath, she closed her eyes for a bare moment as she attempted to regain control of the various felonious thoughts currently fighting for dominance in her mind. "You know, sir, when I took my oath to serve and protect this isn't quite what I envisioned. Exactly how am I supposed to fight crime in this ensemble?" she asked in her most professional voice, shaking her pom poms as she gestured down her well-displayed body.

"Oh, you can still fight crime, Jayje," Morgan chortled, nodding supportively as he wriggled his eyebrows.

"Yeah," Dave smirked from his position in the corner, piping up for the first time since the vision had entered the room. "One hard-on at a time," he grinned lazily, his eyes walking a leisurely path up JJ's curvaceous body appreciatively.

Eyes widening as she wheeled to face the attractive man in the corner currently responsible for her dilemma. Rattling a pom pom in his direction, she declared in an outraged voice, "You! This is your fault!"

"Moi?" Rossi asked with barely contained glee, pressing a hand to the supposed location of his supposed heart. "When Strauss asked me if we had a female operative that I thought could pull this off, I thought you'd be honored by my faith in you, JJ," Dave drawled, his grin widening as he watched two high spots of color flush her cheeks prettily. Damn, he'd always known that this amazing woman must have a few assets hidden beneath those proper suits and blouses she always wore. But now that he had tantalizing proof of that hypothesis, he was certain that he wanted to see more.

Turning sharply back to Hotch, one stiletto heel spinning and shaking, JJ growled, "Sir, I'd appreciate your permission to shove my pom pom up his…"

Holding up a hand, Hotch shook his head before his decidedly irate agent could complete her sentence. "Don't blame Dave, JJ. You fit the victimology. But," he added with a pointed look at his old friend, "if he doesn't stop goading you, you have my permission to use whichever of his orifices as you see fit."

"I always fit the victimology," JJ grumbled, shifting unsteadily on her feet in her heels again, gravity and balance suddenly competing for priority.

His eyes suddenly losing their earlier glimmer of appreciation, Dave felt his face start to harden as he shook his head, the thoughts of this beauty once again becoming bait for yet another unsub giving him pause. Leaning forward in his seat, he started to mutter, "Look, JJ, if you don't…."

But her focus was no longer on the older profiler or his comments. "I can't even walk in these things!" JJ growled, glaring at her feet as she wobbled slightly, grabbing for the high backed chair again. "What kind of cheerleader wears stilettos?"

"The kind that makes more money than you see in a year, Sugar," a husky Southern voice drawled from the far end of the room, drawing all attention in her direction. "And we're definitely gonna have to see what we can do about your team spirit before tonight, darlin'."

"Pardon?" JJ yelped as she jerked suddenly, caught off guard by the unexpected voice from the end of the table. Oh, sweet Jesus! Not only was she making a fool of herself in front of her co-workers, apparently complete strangers were now being subjected to this entire farce!

Clearing his throat, Hotch stepped to JJ's side as he motioned toward the newcomer. "JJ, I'd like you to meet your new mentor, Madam Cinnamon, proprietress of The Spice Rack…and your new best friend until this case is concluded."

Eyeing the voluptuous redhead in a skintight leopard print Lycra dress staring back at her, her bright green eyes dancing in a way that struck fear in JJ's already stuttering heart, JJ muttered the only words that seemed to fit the occasion. "Oh crap."

"The Spice Rack? Seriously?" Morgan enthused excitedly, dark eyes alight with mischief as he scooted his chair closer toward their new outside consultant. "Mmm, mmm, mmm! Been there! There's a whole lot of hot stuff cookin' in there!"

"Why, thank you, Big Boy!" Madam Cinnamon winked, reaching out to pat his arm. "We aim to please, and I just know that our newest girl here is gonna have a lot of satisfied customers!"

His Adam's Apple bobbing excitedly, Spencer pressed his hands over his eyes as he shook his head. "I KNOW we didn't have that in any of my high schools, either!"

Slowly turning her outraged gaze to look between Hotch and Dave defiantly, JJ shook her head firmly as she slammed her pom poms on the wooden table. "No way! I quit!"


	2. Chapter 2

_**Author's Note: First, let us begin by saying thank you to all those wonderful people reading, reviewing, alerting and favoriting this, as well as our other stories. You guys seriously rock! CM readers are the most dedicated folks that we know and we appreciate each one of you.**_

_**Also, good news, our fellow author, JWynn has been awakened from her induced coma. Please feel free to visit our forum ("Chit Chat on Author's Corner" - there's a link at ilovetvalot's profile page) and leave your wishes for her speedy recovery on the discussion thread called "Let's all say a prayer for our fellow fanfic author...JWynn". I feel sure she'd love to hear from all her readers and fellow authors.**_

_**We also have two interesting interviews with a couple of incredibly talented authors, SignedSealedWritten and CMali. Stop by and leave them a comment. We've also got several lively discussion threads regarding AJ Cook and **__**Paget Brewster**__**'s plight, Joe Mantegna's Walk of Fame Star and "Tracia and Tonnie's Down Home Fanfic Wisdom." Readers and writers alike, come join the fun and discussion. Thanks again!**_

_**And, let us not forget, thanks to Kavi Leighanna and Sienna27 for their inspiring TV Prompt Challenge.**_

**The Spice Rack**

**Chapter Two**

_**Prompt: Deadwood: Unauthorized Cinnamon**_

"Now, sugar," Cinnamon drawled reproachfully as she shook her bright red head, her silver hoop earrings dangling against her collarbones, "why would you wanna go and do something like that? Strippers are people, too. Just because we take our clothes off for money, doesn't mean that we deserve to be led like a calf to slaughter, does it?"

"Yeah, Jayje," Morgan agreed as he mimicked the stripper's motions, his bald head shaking from side to side, "Don't hate on the hottie honeys."

"Exactly," Cinnamon said approvingly with a wink toward Morgan, reaching over to pat his cheek, her bright red nails scrapping against his skin. "I think you and I are gonna get along real fine, sweetums."

"Hottie honeys?" Emily bit out, wrinkling her nose in derision as she glared at Morgan. Crossing her arms over her chest, she flopped back in her chair as she declared, "You're disgusting."

"Ain't you ever heard don't hate the player, Prentiss. Hate the game," Morgan grinned, winking at his colleague as he wriggled his eyebrows.

Clearing his throat, Hotch said with authority, "Okay, people, let's remember we've got an unsub to catch." Looking at JJ, he continued, his face stern, "You can't quit, JJ. Right now, you're our best hope and we've already got the wheels for this sting in motion."

"Yeah," JJ snorted as she attempted to pace from side to side, only to feel the tiny sticks underneath her feet wobble again, "I feel them rolling right on over me."

Chuckling, Madam Cinnamon nodded approvingly as she watched the young blonde. "Spunk. I like it, honey, and you'll need it to fill my Ginger's stilettos tonight."

"Ginger?" JJ asked uneasily, her eyes cutting from the older woman to Dave to Hotch, searching for some sort of explanation to this sudden turn of events.

"Your cover," Hotch nodded, reaching down for an open file on the table. Tapping the top page, he explained, "Ginger Spice. She's one of Madam Cinnamon's people, and you're going to be her tonight."

"Uhhh," Penelope interrupted, raising her hand as she fidgeted in her seat, turning to face the newcomer to their group. "I'm a little curious, Madam Cinnamon. Do you still...uhmmm...entertain?"

Laughing at the well-phrased question, Cinnamon smiled sweetly at the brightly colored woman. "Oh, no ma'am, but it's sweet of you to ask. I try to keep in shape for private parties, but I hung up my stilettos back in '92." Turning in her chair, she smiled suggestively as she added, "You remember, Davey. It was after your last bachelor party."

"You know each other?" JJ gasped, looking from Cinnamon to Dave with rounded eyes, her pom poms once again landing on her hips as she shook her head rapidly. Someone owed her a long explanation as to how her normally sedate world had suddenly entered some Hugh Hefner version of the Twilight Zone!

"For a coon's age," Cinnamon nodded readily, folding her hands primly in her barely-covered lap. "I made a deal with Davie after that first divorce that I'd be there with bells on for every bachelor party. And I ain't missed one yet, have I, darlin?" she winked to Dave.

"Oh my God!" JJ groaned, glaring at Dave as his cheeks seemed to redden. "Why am I not surprised?" she hissed, reaching over to smack his head with one of pom poms.

Swatting at the streamers attacking his face, Rossi objected, "JJ! You don't know the whole story!"

"Oh, I'm beginning to piece the chapters together, thank you very much!" JJ snorted as she felt his much-stronger hand surround hers, holding the pom pom captive.

"Dude, you gotta invite me to the next one," Morgan begged as his head swung rapidly, his eyes walking up and down Cinnamon's body despite Garcia's glare.

"Now, hon," Cinnamon told JJ, her voice the perfect mixture of schoolmarm and seductress. "Don't go gettin' your panties in a twist. We all take our clothes off. Some of us just do it with a little more flair than others and in front of an audience. It's an honest living. A good one, if you wanna know the truth. In fact, Davey's last bachelor party put a new roof on the club AND gave all my little Spices a nice Christmas bonus. Isn't that right, Davey?"

"If you say so, Cin," Dave mumbled uncomfortably, shifting under JJ's icy stare as she jerked her hand out of his grip, taking her weaponized pom pom with her.

"Actually," Cinnamon continued, her eyes narrowing for a moment before her well-cared-for face broke out in a wide grin, "I think our Agent Hotchner here was at the last little shindig."

Her eyes widening as she turned to face her unit chief, Emily yelped loudly, "Hotch? You actually went to one of those debaucheries?"

"Oh, he was much younger then, but I'd know that handsome face anywhere" Cinnamon clarified, grinning as she watched a definite flush spread across the leader's face. "Didn't I tell you that those baby cheeks of yours would fill out? Just look at you now, Sugar. Full grown and all man."

Feeling the heat rising in his cheeks as he let out a deep breath, Hotch watched Emily and Garcia exchange wide-eyed looks as they silently mouthed those less-than-complimentary words. Tightening his lips, he took a step in JJ's direction as he said, firmly, "Instead of this walk down memory lane, I think our time would be better spent preparing for the upcoming undercover assignment. Madam Cinnamon, why don't you start by describing the Spice Club routine in detail so that the agents will be familiar with the surroundings?"

Slowly unfolding herself from the chair, Cinnamon nodded regally as she blew a kiss in Hotch's direction. "Now that's a primo directive, Agent Baby Cheeks. And as we discuss the nightly program, perhaps I can take a teensy moment to give a few tips to our newest Spice Girl." Raising a painted brow in JJ's direction, she said, shaking her head, "Seriously, child, you're going to have to put a little wiggle into that walk of yours if we're going to convince my men that you're the real deal!"

Slamming her pom-poms to her barely-covered hips, JJ declared, "But this is how I always walk! What's so wrong with it?"

"Honey child," Cinnamon drawled, reaching out to push JJ's hands out of the way as she expertly flipped up the small skirt, "I've got regular girls who would kill their own mamas for a body like yours! Make those gams work for you. Flaunt it, sister!"

Inhaling quickly, JJ barely resisted the urge to make some decidedly unladylike suggestions to her newest colleague. Swallowing painfully as she swatted her skirt back into her place, her jaw clenching, JJ bit out, "I might be ABLE to flaunt it if I weren't perched precariously in four inch heels."

"Well, sweetie," Cinnamon sighed sympathetically, her brightly-colored lips pursing, "you not only gotta walk and talk to tonight, you gotta flirt and flounce. And most importantly, you gotta dance, darlin'."

Shifting her gaze from Cinnamon to Hotch and back again, JJ said slowly, stepping carefully forward, "Then I hate to tell you this, but you've got a bigger problem than my less than cooperative attitude because I DON'T dance."

"Well, honey, dance is a rather loose term for what you'll be doin'," Cinnamon informed her easily.

"Yeah, from what I've seen, it's more of a gyration," Morgan said with a knowledgeable nod, wriggling demonstratively in his seat.

"The fact that you know that really disturbs me," Penelope muttered, eyeing Morgan dangerously. "But seeing it is enough to send me around the bend."

"Disturbin' as it is, he's right," Madam Cinnamon agreed, stepping forward to plant her hands on JJ"s hips again. "Lucky for you, you got a nice set...of everything," she added, eyeing JJ's breasts with a sage eye.

"Okay," JJ yelped, taking a startled step backward and bumping into Dave's chair, "I think that's enough about my anatomy," she said, tottering on her heels as she felt his hand suddenly slid against her leg, steadying her even as shivers crept up her body at his warm, sure touch.

"Sweetie pie, you're gonna have to get used to people touchin' you," Madam Cinnamon chided with a wag of her taloned finger, watching JJ's reaction to Dave's touch closely. "How you ever gonna get through the lap dances if you don't?"

Sweet God in heaven, JJ thought in a jumbled panic, looking plaintively around at her colleagues. There wasn't gonna be a single solitary thing about this case that she could write home about!


	3. Chapter 3

_**Author's Note: Just a note to thank readers for taking a chance on this story and wanted to let you all know that there is a new interview up on the "Chit Chat on Author's Corner" with the multi-talented Flashpenguin. Please, take a moment and check it out.**_

_**Many thanks again to Kavi Leighanna and Sienna27 for their TV Prompt Challenge.**_

**The Spice Rack**

**Chapter Three**

_**Prompt: The Outer Limits - "Behold, Eck!"**_

David Rossi hadn't managed to survive the last fifty something years by being completely clueless. Feeling JJ's body tremble again at Cinnamon's newest piece of information, he slid a hand slowly around her narrow waist as he murmured, "JJ, it's not going to be that bad. The men aren't allowed to touch you." His eyes narrowing as he turned a dark look in Hotch's direction, he added, sternly, "And if they do, I swear to God one of us will break their fingers."

"Now, Davie, there will be no violence in my club!" Cinnamon warned, narrowing her kohl-lined eyes in her favorite patron's direction. "Do you want to ruin my stellar reputation?"

"Excuse me, ma'am," Reid piped up then, leaning forward in his chair to rest his elbows on the table. "Your first statement doesn't make sense considering the very reason our team is involved because of the violent behavior being exhibited by the unsub. I would think that…."

"Okay, Danger Boy," Garcia hushed him, pressing her hand over his mouth as she rolled her eyes. "I believe we all know what she meant."

Waggling her fingers in Reid's direction, Cinnamon perched on the edge of the table beside the young genius as she said, lasciviously, "And you, my dear boy, are going to be one of our first victims for our new stripper du jour. Tell me, have you ever had a lap dance before, Agent Reid?"

Frowning, Reid shook his head rapidly. "I'm not familiar with the term, ma'am," Reid said, uncomfortably shifting in his seat as he felt Madam Cinnamon's attentive eyes narrow on him. The sound of Morgan's not-so-subtle chuckle made him blush even deeper.

"Well, well," Cinnamon smiled, her eyes lighting up excitedly. "It's been a while since I've initiated a virgin. This ought to be fun," she grinned, crooking a finger and motioning the young genius forward.

"Uh...uh...I'm not sure...I mean," Reid stuttered, his face flushing under Cinnamon's unwavering stare.

"Don't be scared, sweetie," Cinnamon soothed, cupping his warm cheek. "I don't bite...well, not unless you pay extra," she shrugged carelessly, hitching her skirt up as she quickly but expertly straddled his legs on the chair. "Honey, she drawled over her shoulder, batting her lashes at Derek, "would you mind hitting my music over there?" she said, nodding toward the stereo hooked up at the end of the table.

"Wait!" Reid gulped, all but dumping Madam Cinnamon to the floor as he leapt from his seat, his Adam's apple bobbing wildly. "I forgot! My allergies! I have a terrible allergy to cinnamon. And Ginger leaves a horrible taste in my mouth," he said as an afterthought, casting JJ an apologetic smile.

"Trust me, Spence," JJ muttered, backing up a few steps from Cinnamon, "I understand completely."

Releasing a long suffering sigh as she straightened her short skirt, Madam Cinnamon looked at the three remaining males in the room. "Well, boys, we're gonna need two volunteers here. Can't have a lesson without a lap to writhe on," she tsked, her eagle eyes surveying her remaining victims.

"Oooh, oooh, oohh," Morgan all but yelled, his muscled arm waving in the air. "Choose me! Choose me!" he begged, bouncing in his seat.

"Disgusting AND revolting," Emily grumbled under her breath as she slunk lower in her chair, wrinkling her pert nose at Derek's antics.

"Aren't you just the eager beaver," Madam Cinnamon crooned silkily, sashaying toward Morgan. Looking toward JJ, Madam Cinnamon ordered, "Pick your poison, darlin'. I've got this piece of chocolate here," she said, patting Derek's grinning cheek. "You've got Agent BabyCheeks or my personal favorite, the Italian Stallion over there." Seeing the look of horror and doubt still hovering on JJ's face, she added, " I'd go with Dave, honey. Of all the men in this room, he's the one I KNOW knows how to hold his Spice."

"Oh, sweet God," JJ hissed in complete disbelief, looking over her shoulder from a devilishly handsome David Rossi to her stone faced Unit Chief.

"Actually," Hotch said quickly, holding up a hand, "I'll be monitoring operations from the surveillance van with Reid, so I wouldn't be much help to you inside the club, JJ. Rossi's your best bet."

"Trust me, honey," Madam Cinnamon said knowingly when JJ opened her mouth to object loudly, "you're in good hands with that one."

"I might point out that I haven't put my hands on anyone anywhere in a very long time," Dave interjected rapidly, watching JJ tense again.

"That's true," Madam Cinnamon nodded as they all watched Dave raise both hands in the air and wiggle his fingers. "Tarragon was saying just the other day how much she missed you, Davey."

"Wait!" JJ yelped, blanching as she pressed both pom poms to her cheeks. "Tarragon? Cinnamon? Ginger?"

"Honey, are you having some kind of episode?" Madam Cinnamon asked worriedly, cocking her head to one side as she watched the young blonde begin shaking her head vigorously from side to side, horror etched on her face.

"They're spices," JJ whispered to herself, squeezing her eyes shut as she felt her legs start to wobble.

Watching as recognition dawned on the beautiful woman standing in front of him, Dave bit his lip to keep from laughing at her. Reaching out to press a soft hand to her arm, he asked, "You gettin' there yet, babe?"

"They're spices in the SPICE RACK!" JJ yelled suddenly, swatting his fingers away as she snapped open her eyes. "GROSS!" Turning wobbly on her spiked heels to face Cinnamon, JJ barked, "You don't find that name demeaning!"

Shrugging easily as she made herself comfortable on Derek Morgan's comfy lap, Cinnamon smiled. "Sweetie, if demeaning means extremely lucrative and endlessly entertaining, then absolutely," Cinnamon nodded, shimmying seductively. "Now, pick your jaw on up off the floor and climb up on that piece of masculinity behind you. You and I got some work to do...and by the looks of things," she groaned, watching as JJ warily perched on the very edge of Rossi's knee, "it's gonna take a while."

Frowning as she felt Dave's hand settle on her hip, JJ turned beseeching eyes toward Emily. "You know, if you were a real friend..."

Holding up a hand, Emily emphatically shook her dark head. "Don't even try. I already served my time in one gentleman's establishment, and I use that term loosely, while you got to go to sunny California for that training seminar. And I had to dance with a guy named Viper," Emily said, shuddering repulsively, her skin literally crawling at the memory. "Trust me, you're lucky it's Rossi that you've got to bump and grind on."

"It won't be that bad," Dave soothed from behind her, trailing a hand down her rigid back comfortingly. "I promise, I'll be quiet as a mouse. You won't even know it's me."

Smacking his thigh with her pom pom, JJ growled, "No touching!"

"That's the spirit," Madam Cinnamon nodded supportively as she waved a hand in the air. "Hit the music, boys," she said, winking at Hotch and Reid.

And with that, Jennifer Jareau's induction to the world of lap dancing began.


	4. Chapter 4

_**Author's Note: Thanks to Kavi and Sienna27 for their TV Prompt Challenge. And please, check out our newest interview on our forum, "Chit Chat on Author's Corner" with the very talented flashpenguin. **_

**The Spice Rack**

**Chapter Four**

_**Prompt: Entourage - "Blue Balls Lagoon"**_

Two dreadfully long hours later, Cinnamon Abriolla winced, feeling a throbbing headache developing at the base of her neck. As much as it pained her to admit, she was absolutely convinced that Agent Jennifer Jareau didn't have a rhythmic bone in her body. How hard could it be to simply count to the beat?

Waving her hands in the air, Madam Cinnamon groaned loudly as she yelled, "No, no, no! Sweetheart, how many times do I have to explain it? Sultry and sassy moves are good! Jutting up and down like an out-of-control jackhammer is NOT!"

Derek Morgan nodded in commiseration as he peered through the fingers he had pressed over his eyes. "I'm with Cinnamon, Jayje! Watching what you're doing to Rossi is beginning to make me consider celibacy!"

"Now that would be a miracle," Emily muttered from her new position from beside Hotch. "Maybe we should check and see if the Apocalypse has started."

Throwing up her hands, pom poms waving wildly, JJ jerked herself off Rossi's lap as she declared, her red face darkening even more, "Look, people, I'm doing my best here! It's not my fault that I'm half Amish! We don't DO these things in Pennsylvania!"

"You're getting better, and practice will make perfect," David Rossi replied loyally, his body still reacting from the up-close and personal contact he'd been experiencing with the blonde beauty. Seeing the fury rise in her eyes, he held up a hand as he added, quickly, "But maybe now would be the perfect time for a small break."

"I hate to remind you, Davey, but in tee minus six hours, this baby Spice of mine is gonna be expected on stage," Cinnamon worried, tapping one taloned nail against her cheek as she stared at the cheerleader. "And my patrons expect to see an expert. And no offense, honey, but you ain't it."

"I told you that over two hours ago," JJ retorted, blowing a wisp of hair off her perspiring face, glancing up at the ceiling as she begged the air vents to suddenly start working.

"And we haven't even gotten to the strippin' portion of the program," Cinnamon bemoaned.

"Wait! I thought I gave the dances clothed," JJ said, her voice closer to a shriek than she cared to admit. "I am NOT doin' this naked! My loyalty to the job only extends so far, Hotch!"

Rolling her eyes at the woman in front of her, Cinnamon soothed, "Honey, what you'll be in has the same amount of material as a bikini. You've got to get past the inner prude and reach for the wanton woman that lurks inside you. You've got to look at that man," she said, jabbing a finger at Dave, "like you wanna lick chocolate frosting off his body. And for the love of God, you've got to loosen up," she ordered, lifting JJ's stiff arm.

"In case you haven't noticed, I'm pretty sure God left me forsaken a couple of hours ago," JJ snapped, waving a pom pom in the air as she jerked her arm from the stripper's grip. "And for the record, I've never licked anything off anybody in my life and I don't intend to start now, unsub or no unsub."

Breathing deeply, Cinnamon reminded herself that once upon a time, she, too, was a novice. "Listen, sweetie, you've got the raw goods. Your body is sex on a stick…"

"Amen," Dave muttered behind her, shifting in his uncomfortable trousers as he once again forced himself to start reciting the multiplication tables. Hell, in the last two hours, he had been through the entire Ten Commandments, all the amendments to the Constitution, the entire lineup of the Mets, and every decade of the rosary. Twice.

"…You've just got to learn how to move to the music," Cinnamon coaxed. "And smile. Smiling would help." Wiping a hand across her brow, she stomped her foot daintily. "Lord, I knew I should have brought Pepper."

"Pepper?" JJ asked, almost afraid to hear who this newest spice was.

"The club's choreographer. Unfortunately, this was her day to volunteer for the Monsignor," Cinnamon replied, grabbing her iPhone and quickly checking her schedule.

"A holy stripper," JJ mumbled as she closed her eyes for a moment. "Now, I've heard it all."

"All of my girls are required to participate in some form of community service on a weekly basis," Cinnamon responded properly, cocking one eyebrow as she heard Derek Morgan's sudden guffaw. "Pepper has a degree in finance from Notre Dame, so she is a perfect fit to help balance the parish books each week. Tarragon is just a semester away from her diploma in zoology, so if I start to miss her, I always call over to the zoo and they fish her out of the penguin exhibit for me."

Pepper. Cinnamon. Tarragon. Holding up her hand, bright pom pom shaking, JJ stopped the senior stripper before she could continue with her litany. "I think I get the picture. Your adult entertainers are each paragons of oblique virtue. The thing is, can we get this Pepper here and maybe have her take my place? I'm sure Hotch could teach her how to be an agent faster than you can teach me to be a stripper!"

"It doesn't work like that, I'm afraid," Hotch interjected, shaking his head slowly as he crossed his arms over his chest. Although, he thought wishfully, that might solve their problems. After the last two hours, even he was beginning to have doubts about JJ's possible transformation.

Grasping wildly for any straw that might fit into her pom-pom filled hand, JJ suggested with plea, "We could have Emily's hair dyed in no time, I'm sure. And I'm certain she could do a much better job than me. She's had experience! She said so herself earlier!"

"Hey!" Emily objected righteously, her head jerking up straight as she stared at her so-called best friend. "Thanks for throwing me under the bus, JJ! I've done my time in hell, thank you very much!"

Cocking an appraising eye as she glanced at the dark-headed agent, Madam Cinnamon murmured, "My establishment is definitely in the other direction, honey child. My men swear that they've made a visit to heaven every single time they walk through the doors!"

Dave let out a deep sigh as he stood up, adjusting his trousers just enough to hide any lingering evidence as he said, "How about we all grab a soda or something for a few minutes, then come back and try again? I'm sure that JJ's gonna get the hang of this and we'll be moving right along."

"And I always took you for such an intelligent soul, Davey," Cinnamon huffed, wagging a doubtful finger in his direction.

"Let me put this another way, folks," Dave growled, his patience finally at an end. "Give JJ and me the damned room for fifteen uninterrupted minutes."

Watching as her snickering colleagues, grim Unit Chief, and stripper mentor with an apparent heart of gold made their way from the conference room, JJ released a relieved sigh, sinking into one of the office chairs. Enjoying the blessed silence only lasted a heartbeat, however, before the devil with a federal badge opened his mouth.


	5. Chapter 5

**The Spice Rack**

**Chapter Five**

Rubbing his hand over his whiskered jaw, Dave stared appreciatively at the blonde beauty before him. For the past three years, he had been biding his time, waiting for the perfect opportunity to test the decidedly enticing waters. Oh, he could have done his usual, less-than-subtle tactics and merely bulldozed his way into her life, knocking down the flimsy barriers she had attempted to erect. But somehow, he had known that wouldn't work on her. Not at all.

And now that fate had literally thrown her into his lap, he wasn't going to waste what could be the exact opening he had been waiting for.

"Look, JJ," he said slowly, noticing her stiffened shoulders and tightly clenched fists as she perched on the edge of the chair, "This doesn't have to be the horror you're making it out to be, honey. Lap dances are meant to be enjoyable for both parties, if you get what I mean."

"Have you not been paying attention, Dave?" JJ snorted, throwing the pom poms in the air as she jumped up, unaware exactly how much she resembled a true cheerleader signaling a touchdown for her team. Pacing from side to side, she exclaimed, "I don't get what ANY of this means! None of it! Nada! Zilch!"

Yeah, he told himself with an inward groan, THAT he understood. Her movements had been stilted at best, and it was obvious that she was unaccustomed to using her body in those special ways that were meant to drive a man wild with just a mere touch. Drawing in a deep breath as he once again shifted his trousers, he met her flashing eyes again as leaned against the edge of the table. "JJ, do you trust me?"

Narrowing one eye on the predatory man that had been sharing much more of her personal space in the last few hours than she cared to think about, JJ pursed her lips. "To have my back in the field? Absolutely. To conduct yourself like a perfect gentleman tonight and not enjoy my humiliation? Not in a thousand years. You're forgetting, Rossi, I've been crawling all over your lap all afternoon. " Her eyes dropped for a bare second to stare at his trousers, she muttered, "And it's been a decidedly mountainous terrain."

Dave tried to suppress his grin. Truly, he did. But JJ's obvious discomfort, blended with that stunning innocent glow permeating her cheeks, was his undoing. "Now, Jen...you can't parade a body like that in front of a red blooded man, let alone dance in his lap, and not expect certain situations to rise to the occasion. Especially not this man. And certainly not when that woman is you."

Eyes darkening, JJ raised a hand to forestall his excuses. "Don't start, Dave. I'm warning you..."

"You know," he drawled, wiggling his eyebrows suggestively, "you could consider this our predestined fate. I've certainly tried hard enough to manipulate you into my arms."

"Your arms are to be nowhere near me," JJ retorted, pompoms flapping. "Madam Cinnamon said so!"

"You know what I mean, JJ!" Rossi snorted behind his smile, her determined blue eyes just drawing him in deeper. "There's no reason to fight what's going to happen anyway."

Cocking her head to the side, her blonde hair falling wildly, JJ slammed her pom poms to her hips as she declared, "Oh, someone's awfully sure of himself! Come down off your high horse, Rossi! "

Dave rolled his eyes as he snaked out his hand, easily capturing the edge of one of her pop poms. Tugging her forward, he stared down into her suddenly apprehensive eyes as he said, softly, "I think you might be a little more comfortable with me if we got one of the preliminaries out of the way, honey."

She struggled slightly as she slammed her free pom pom to his chest. Frowning, she felt his hand wrap around her waist, bringing her closer. "Dave! We're in the middle of the FBI!"

"And the FBI has condoned our actions for the last two hours, JJ," he assured her, trailing a hand up her back to cup her neck, burying his fingers in the silky blonde strands. He felt her deep gasp as much as heard it, and took that exact moment to press his lips easily to her surprised mouth.

Oh, crap, JJ thought wildly, suddenly completely paralyzed by his mere touch. Hadn't she been avoiding this very moment for months now? She'd spent painstaking hours of her life fortifying her defenses against the wicked man molded to her body, hadn't she? And to what end? So she could become the victim of a sneak attack on his part? Damned man had the devil's own luck, that much she was convinced of.

But, dear God, his lips tasted like the most delectable skin against hers. Warm and sure...but then that was no surprise, was it? The maddening man defined confidence and it was obvious by the way he expertly held her that he knew how to navigate a woman's body.

She never knew how he manipulated her into assuming the position she'd been in for the past two hours, straddled over his lap in the middle of a Bureau conference room. But like everything he did, he did it with a finesse and ease that, when she regained the ability to speak, would irritate her no end.

Smiling against her mouth as he nipped her full lower lip, slowly drawing back to stare into her soft blue eyes, he relished the sound of the small dissatisfied moan that escaped her parted lips. Fanning his hand across her back, Dave gently bit her neck as he suggested huskily, "Why don't you try moving now, Babe? I'm betting we both enjoy the experience this time around."

His voice broke the sensual haze that she had been submersed in like a glass full of icy water. Eyes widening, JJ smacked his arm violently with one of her pom poms as she jerked back quickly. "What the HELL was that?" she bit out, smacking him again, this time on the top of his large obnoxious head.

"You don't know? Honey, you weren't kidding about that whole Amish experience were you?" Dave asked with twinkling eyes as JJ struggled out of his lap.

Cheek flushing a vibrant ruby red, JJ glared down at the cocky man before her. Arrogant bastard! Bringing her stiletto-shod heel down on his chair precisely between his splayed legs, JJ's eyes narrowed menacingly as she leaning more of her weight forward. And, oh, the satisfaction she felt when a tight gasp escaped Dave's lips as she asked, saccharine-sweet, "Perhaps we should practice this move, shall we?"

But before he could answer in any form or fashion, the conference room door slammed open and bounced against the back wall. JJ watched through narrowed eyes as in walked the very woman who had started this very fiasco, followed by the Unit Chief who had signed off on it.

Hands on her spandex-covered hips, Madam Cinnamon's wildly-colored eyes took in the scene before her as she declared, dismayed, "No, no, no, honey! We treat our patrons' nether regions kindly. We want their balls blue, not bruised."


	6. Chapter 6

**Author's Note: Hello, Readers! Once again, thank you to everyone that has been reading, reviewing, alerting and favoriting our stories.**

**We'd like to take this opportunity to announce our Fanfic Challenge - ROUND 2 for July at our forum "Chit Chat on Author's Corner". Signups are through June 30th. This month, you'll simply need to tell us what pairing you normally write, what pairing you'd like to see someone else write, and what Song Title or Movie Title you'd like to see used for inspiration. On July 1st, you'll be pm'd with your assigned pairing and prompt…. and then, just write away! Postings will be due by July 31. Further details can be found at the forum ("Chit Chat on Author's Corner") and a link can be found at our profile pages (ilovetvalot or tonnie2001969)! We had a great turnout for our last challenge and some really excellent fics produced. And, now, we want to make it bigger and better. Come join the fun. You can sign up at the forum or send either tonnie or me a PM! We'd love to hear from you! And please check out our newest interview with the incredibly talented tazlvr2001!**

**And again, thanks to Kavi Leighanna and Sienna27 for their awesome Television Prompt forum!**

**The Spice Rack**

**Chapter Six**

_**Deadwood: I Am Not the Fine Man You Take Me For**_

Stepping lively into the tense room, her pencil-thin heels tapping rapidly, Cinnamon tsked as she neared the feuding couple. "Davie, dear, are you alright?"

"You're asking HIM is HE's okay?" JJ blustered, stomping her stiletto to the tiled floor as she spun wobbly to face the newcomers. Her pom poms flew wildly from side to side as she snorted, very unlady-like, "Trust me, lady, Rossi's NOT the injured party here! He's ENJOYING this!"

"I believe Madam Cinnamon was inquiring about Agent Rossi's physical well-being, JJ," Hotch murmured drily as he moved further into the room, letting out a deep sigh as he saw the decidedly lustful look on his senior agent's face. Crossing his arms over his chest, he glared down at the older man as he added, "Although her concern is obviously displaced. You look alive and well to me, Dave, and none the worse for wear for your encounters."

"Trust me, Hotch," Dave muttered, attempting to straighten himself in the chair, his current condition highly visible to one and all, "those shoes of hers should be considered a lethal weapon. Her weapon would just be window dressing when she's got those on!"

Rolling her eyes, JJ pursed her lips as she flicked a pompom in the arrogant man's direction, flakes of silver and gold floating through the air. "Yeah, these are exactly what all agents should be wearing on every take down. The unsubs would just be throwing themselves at my feet in surrender!"

Dave couldn't stop the grin that covered his face as he said, the words flooding out before he could stop them, "I know that I would."

Holding up a stalling hand as she saw JJ's face flush even more, Cinnamon eased herself between the warring couple as she said, calmly, "Okay, my little darlings, now is not the time to give into our frustration. We are now four hours away from show time. And I'm not getting that warm, fuzzy feeling in the pit of my stomach that tells me that I'm going to have a profitable night at the Spice Rack!"

Wincing as he stood up slowly, Dave leaned a hand forward to rest on the table as he said, slowly, "Jen's got it, Cinnamon. She's ready."

"If you really believe that," Cinnamon snorted, "then your standards have truly slipped in the last few years. When was the last time you even came in for a drink, Davey?" she asked in frustration, narrowing her eyes as she glared at her one-time favorite customer.

He knew exactly how long it had been since he'd graced Cinnamon's club with his presence. Two years and four months. The last time he'd darkened her doors had been the weekend before he returned to the BAU. The weekend before he'd become fascinated by a bewitchingly beautiful blonde with a chip on her shoulder the size of Texas. Suddenly, all the spices lined up in Cinnamon's sizeable rack paled in comparison to the woman currently promising grim death to him with her expressive eyes. "It's been awhile, Cin," Dave admitted impassively, meeting her flashing eyes.

"Been longer than that, you devil," Cinnamon returned with a knowing smile, her gaze taking in far more than just his charming face. "And I'm beginning to see why."

"Maybe," Hotch interrupted, taking mercy on an obviously flustered JJ as the rest of the team slipped back into the tension-filled room, "our time would be better served talking about this evening's agenda. Reid's geographical profile indicates that Madame Cinnamon's establishment is next on his hit list parade. Maybe you could describe a typical evening in the club's routine."

"Well," Cinnamon said with a shrug of her slim shoulders as she leaned one curvaceous hip against the table, "It isn't rocket science. My boys come in tense from a hard day's work and my Spices help alleviate some of that tension in the formed of tender, loving care." Frowning at JJ's derisive snort, Madam Cinnamon hardened her voice as she admonished, wagging a finger, "Listen, honey pie, I run an above board business. I pay my taxes just like any other employer and there ain't no funny business goin' on. Everybody's got a right to earn a livin' and this is how I make mine. Pays a hell of a lot better than the teachin' position I had twenty years ago, too. So, don't you go makin' no faces at me."

"I apologize," JJ said, suitably chastened, her pom poms flopping loosely at her side. "It's just difficult for me to understand how women can put themselves in this kind of demeaning position and still hold their heads up."

"Demeaning in YOUR opinion," Cinnamon corrected with a long-suffering sigh, having heard this argument multiple times. "You assume men come to our club for sex, JJ. And I can't deny that sexual allure is a big part of it. But, honey, most of these men don't just come for my Spices' bodies. They come for the intimacy. Child, they come for the dance...the connection to another living bein' for a few stolen minutes."

"You and I will have to agree to disagree on that. Because I think they come for the bump and grind," she replied, with a pointed look at Dave.

"Amen, sister," Emily Prentiss agreed from her position by the door. "Sounds to me like it's a free-for-all that allows men to ogle women at their leisure. I don't exactly call that women's liberation!"

"Freedom is in the eye of the beholder, ladies," Cinnamon shot back quickly as she heard JJ grunt in dissent. "But I think we have better things on our minds right now, if I understand your mission correctly. We can all agree that we wanna keep these ladies alive, right?"

"Cinnamon's got a point," Dave observed, unable to avoid the death glare that one particular blonde was aiming in his direction. "Let's just get through tonight, and put this unsub behind bars. Agreed?"

Letting out a puff of air, her bangs fluttering from the breeze, JJ slammed her hands to her hips as she snapped, "I'm in. Only because I'm a professional and this is part of the job. But don't you dare make me regret this, Rossi!"

And as he watched the stunning blonde stomp her way out of the BAU conference room, her tiny skirt flouncing behind her, David Rossi could only pray that this night would be all he hoped it would be.


	7. Chapter 7

**Author's Note: Hello, Readers! Once again, thank you to everyone that has been reading, reviewing, alerting and favoriting our stories.**

**We'd like to take this opportunity to announce our Fanfic Challenge - ROUND 2 for July at our forum "Chit Chat on Author's Corner". Signups are through June 30th. This month, you'll simply need to tell us what pairing you normally write, what pairing you'd like to see someone else write, and what Song Title or Movie Title you'd like to see used for inspiration. On July 1st, you'll be pm'd with your assigned pairing and prompt…. and then, just write away! Postings will be due by July 31. Further details can be found at the forum ("Chit Chat on Author's Corner") and a link can be found at our profile pages (ilovetvalot or tonnie2001969)! We had a great turnout for our last challenge and some really excellent fics produced. And, now, we want to make it bigger and better. Come join the fun. You can sign up at the forum or send either tonnie or me a PM! We'd love to hear from you! And please check out our newest interview with the incredibly talented tazlvr2001!**

**The Spice Rack**

**Chapter Seven**

In all of her barely thirty years on the face of this very strange earth, Jennifer Jareau had to admit that she had never experienced anything like the hustle and bustle that was a strip club. From the first moment she had walked in, her senses had been on overload. While the rest of the team had been mapping out the various entrances and exits of the locale in preparation for their sting operation, Madam Cinnamon had whisked JJ away to meet every other member of her club.

And now, staring around the packed dressing room, her eyes widening as she took in the dozen women in various stages of undress, JJ fought the sudden urge to tug her tiny top tighter around her body. While she was usually comfortable with her proportions, JJ had realized over the past hour exactly how …lacking…she might be in comparison to some of these women. Surely they weren't born with these bodies, were they? She was fairly certain she detected the tell-tale lines of what had to be enhancements, didn't she?

Turning to stare at the brunette that eased up beside her, JJ muttered, hoping she could be heard over the dance music filtering in through the door, "Please tell me that this is going to work, Emily! Otherwise, I'm going to make a freaking fool out of myself before the night is over!"

"Hey, if I did it, you can, too," Emily assured her friend, reaching out to pat her shoulder. Thrusting the ever-present pom poms in JJ's direction, Emily said, "Cinnamon said not to forget these. Apparently you left them on the table earlier after she showed you how to pole dance."

"Don't remind me," JJ groaned, grabbing the glittering items and using them to cover her suddenly reddening face as she pressed her back against the wall. "I don't think the performer is supposed to fall off the stage and land on the customer's lap, is she?"

"Hey, at least Dave caught you. He seemed to be quite enjoying that part, even it if wasn't on Cinnamon's very strict schedule," Emily grinned, then looked up quickly as a loud, cultured voice suddenly filled the room.

Madam Cinnamon stood in the doorway, her tall frame and heavily teased hair filling the space. Clapping her hands together excitedly, she called out, "Ladies! It is officially five minutes before we open the doors. It's time to go over a few things before our friendly manly patrons arrive!"

Oh, God, JJ thought...what else could there possibly be? She'd already been fluffed, flounced and fondled by Cinnamon and her collective spices. Christ, she was pretty sure she still had Sage's handprints on her boobs, they'd been adjusted by the woman so much. And Saffron...that woman could make a can of aerosol hairspray into an FBI sanctioned weapon. Her scalp still tingled from the amount of teasing that Spice and her twin, Rosemary, had inflicted. And, Lavender! That woman had made glistening body powder into its very own ritual; she'd puffed JJ's face and shoulders with the sickly sweet powder so many times, JJ had finally resorted to holding her breath to avoid losing her ability to ever smell again.

But she'd learned a few things along the way, too. Most of the ladies she'd been introduced to seemed like good, decent fellow human beings simply trying to support themselves in the best, most profitable ways they knew how. For example, the dimpled redhead Marjoram had confided that she was simply baring her wares, as she put it, as a way to work herself through college, her dream of law school well within sight. And Nutmeg had recently gone through a bitter divorce. This job allowed her to be home with her small toddlers during the brunt of the day when they were awake, and her mother watched her babies at night. Even the somewhat scary Juniper with her soft bald head had a story. A cancer survivor, Juniper's hair had never grown back. So, being the industrious and creative woman that she was, she used her scalp as part of her lap dance, rubbing the men's faces like a cat. She used her handsome salary to pay medical bills that might never have been touched without her income from the Spice Rack.

And throughout the entire unforgettable experience, JJ was slowly gaining a whole new respect for these special ladies.

But despite her growing affection for these unique individuals, even JJ had her limits. And Madam Cinnamon was rapidly approaching them. "I'm ready, Cinnamon. There's absolutely nothing left to primp," JJ declared, holding her arms aloft, her pom poms fluttering underneath the air vent.

"Oh, sugah," Peppermint drawled, sucking on a lollipop as she added one last puff of hairspray to her bright red hair, "Madame Cinnamon can always find somethin' to fiddle with," she grinned, shimmying slightly to adjust her tiny striped skirt.

Frowning at the other woman, Cinnamon shook her head as she slammed a fist to her hip. "I'm gonna fiddle you if you don't sashay that rump out to the stage. You're on, Peppermint. And don't forget your candy this time!"

Watching the other woman grin widely and nod to the bouncer waiting to escort her into the bar for her entrance, JJ turned to her mentor. "I don't know if I can do this," she whispered frantically, looking around her surroundings at the other strippers making final adjustments to their costumes. They were professionals! They were accustomed to doing this on a daily basis! She was just a small-town girl from nowhere, Pennsylvania! How had she ever thought she could compete in this world, even just for one night?

Gesturing two more strippers named Anise and Poppy forward, Madame Cinnamon nodded her understanding. "Stage fright, honey."

"We all had it our first time," Anise commiserated, smiling sweetly at the newest member of their small group.

"And Madame Cinnamon gave us something that fixed us up, right as rain," added Poppy brightly, lifting the oriental tray in her hands so that the contents were easily viewed.

Looking suspiciously between the three women, JJ took a step back, bumping into Emily. "What is that?" JJ asked cautiously, eyeing the steaming cup in the center of the tray with two caplets resting harmlessly beside the cup. "Em," JJ said under her breath, waving a pom pom wildly in the air, "are they trying to get a federal agent HIGH?"


	8. Chapter 8

**The Spice Rack**

**Chapter Eight**

There were days Unit Chief Aaron Hotchner wondered whether he was the leader of an elite profiling team or, rather, the sucker placed in charge of a rambunctious group of agents no one else would touch. And as he stood watching the legendary David Rossi getting ready for the undercover sting operation shortly to commence, he was definitely leaning toward the latter. Because there was no way on earth the other man's mind was strictly on the job tonight. No, that shit-eating grin plastered across Dave's devious mouth gave him away every time.

"Whatever you're thinking right now, Dave," Hotch said sternly from his perch on the edge of the lumpy bed in the seedy hotel located conveniently next to the strip club, "don't."

Glancing at Aaron's set face in the mirror's reflection, Dave replied innocently, pressing a hand piously to the general area of his heart, "I don't know what you're talking about, Hotch. I'm just standing here getting ready for tonight."

Those glinting eyes gave him away. Every time. "Sure you are," Hotch snorted, crossing his arms over his chest. "Maybe I ought to be clearer then. Tonight is not an excuse for you to stalk JJ like the hunter you are. A word of warning, old friend. She isn't gonna take kindly to you trying to mount her to the wall."

"Hmmm, now there's an image that I can definitely get on board with," Dave smirked, winking at the mirror as he wriggled his eyebrows, the very though causing certain parts of his anatomy to exhibit distinct signs of life.

Groaning at his own obviously poor choice of words, Hotch inhaled deeply as he narrowed his eyes. "We're on a job, Dave."

"And the job will get done, Aaron," Dave returned evenly, choosing to ignore the censure in the other man's tone. "And if that job just happens to coincide with my personal plans, so much the better." Staring at Hotch's reflection in the chipped mirror, Dave met the other man's eyes. "I warned you several months ago that she was in my sights."

Snatching the wire taps from the cheap bedspread beside him, Hotch stood, indicating Dave should turn around. Taping the first wire to Dave's chest, Hotch said firmly, "Agent Jareau is not wild game, Rossi. She's a qualified agent that carries a really big gun. Just like you."

"Trust me, my friend, that woman is carrying around more than one kind of weapon. And I ain't talkin' about the one that fires bullets," Dave said with a wide smile, suddenly wincing as Hotch pulled the tape from his matted chest with a malicious flick of his wrist.

"Sorry," Hotch muttered, sadistically pleased with his friend's grimace of pain and muttered curse, "gotta make sure these bad boys stay in place. We wouldn't want to miss anything tonight, would we?"

Raising a suspicious brow as he watched Hotch tape another wire into place, Dave murmured, "I guess not." Clearing his throat, he asked, forcing his tone to be as nonchalant as possible, "How put off do you think JJ is that I used to frequent this kind of...venue?"

"You mean the fact that by all appearances you're a dirty old man that likes watching young, impressionable girls take off their clothes to make a buck? Oh, I'm pretty sure she's unfazed. She thought you were a hound dog from the word, "go". This only proved her assumptions correct," Hotch shrugged, searching for the hairiest place to attach yet another piece of the super-adhesive tape.

"And YOU know differently," Dave said with narrowed eyes, barely resisting the urge to let out a well-earned yelp when his sadistic unit chief once again peeled off a layer of his skin. "You're well aware that Cin and I go way back...and not in the intimate way. You coulda helped me out today on that misconception."

"I could have," Hotch agreed with a slight grin as he met Dave's flashing eyes, "but where would be the fun in that?"

"So much for fifteen years of friendship, huh?" Dave snorted, swatting Hotch's hand as he peeled the tape back from his chest again. "Quit that!" he snapped, jerking as another strip of his chest hair was ripped from his body.

"I'm soooo sorry," Hotch offered sarcastically, his tone droll. "I wasn't exactly inclined toward helping either of you out after Cin's "Agent BabyCheeks" comment. I can barely look Prentiss and Morgan in the eye now. Their snickers are still echoing in the bullpen. Not to mention that Garcia's already produced business cards with my new name. And began distributing them!"

Choking back a laugh at the ingenious methods of their technical analyst, Dave murmured, "Well, you were sort innocent back then."

"Well, you and Cin certainly didn't waste any time enlightening me. I knew I should have listened to Gideon that night and kept my ass parked at the office," Hotch grumbled, attaching the final wire to Dave's chest with a determined slap.

"I'll say the same thing I said back then, Aaron," Dave sighed, shaking his head in obvious disappointment at the inflexible younger man . "You really need to learn how to lighten up."

"And I'll repeat the words I used then, as well...Go to hell," Hotch retorted, reaching for Dave's shirt off the bed and throwing it at the older agent. Glancing down at his watch, he added, tersely, "Get dressed, Romeo. This sting starts in ten minutes, and whether I like it or not, you're one of our main stars. Keep your focus on that, please."

Easily shrugging into the black dress shirt, the color chosen specifically to better hide any trace of the eavesdropping system that was now firmly in place, Dave deftly slid the small buttons into place as he replied, "Don't worry, Aaron. I've never put a job in jeopardy before. And I won't be putting JJ in danger, now or ever."

"Why do I not believe that?" Hotch muttered, shaking his head. How in the world had the fates conspired to put him at a strip club with David Rossi once again?

* * *

_**Author's Note:**_

_**Please forgive our extra long rambling today, but we have a lot to share. First, originally we planned to publish all our stories on Mondays. But after realizing we have ten ongoing works, we decided to split them up. So, we will publish five fics on Sundays and five fics on Mondays for the foreseeable future. As always, we will publish the odd oneshot in between, especially when we have notes to share with our readers regarding our forum.**_

_**For those following Chit Chat on Author's Corner forum, we have several announcements. First, we'd like to announce our interviews with the very talented authors Reidfanatic and ConfettiLeaves. Next, please **__**check out our mini-challenge…The Creative Reasons Challenge! Now is the time to put your creative talents to work and write a story depicting the events and/or emotions regarding JJ's departure. It can be a drabble, oneshot or multi-chapter featuring any characters you choose. For more info, check out our challenge thread on the "Chit Chat on Author's Corner" forum.**_

_**For those of you who want to keep updated on the new threads posted to the forum, you can subscribe by going to the forum page (the link is on my profile page), then clicking "Forum Subscription" in the upper right corner. We have new and exciting discussion threads and interviews, as well as our monthly challenges, planned for the future.**_

_**Again, we want to take this opportunity to thank anyone for reading, reviewing, alerting, and favoriting our stories. We truly appreciate hearing from each one of you.**_


	9. Chapter 9

_Author's Note: We're excited to announce our Round 3 of our Fanfic Challenge on Chit Chat on Author's Corner forum. The __**Dealer's Choice August Challenge**__ is a great way to stretch your writing muscles! Simply suggest a pairing from the seven main Criminal Minds characters and list three different things to include in the story. (Example: You request Hotch/Emily and your prompts are a starry night, a cashmere blanket and a bottle of Merlot.) Your suggestion will be assigned to another author, and you'll receive a similar suggestion. Your final story must include your assigned pairing and must include at least two of the three prompts you were given in some capacity. Stories can be short or long, romantic or friendship, angst or humor…and anything else in between! Sign ups will continue through August 2, assignments will be given on August 3, and stories are due by August 31!_

**The Spice Rack**

**Chapter Nine**

Meanwhile, back at the very strip club Hotch was mentally cursing, Jennifer Jareau stared in confusion at the innocuous looking tray being presented to her. Shaking her long blonde hair, the stray strands bouncing around her cheeks, she asked, warily, "Someone want to tell me exactly what is in that cup?"

Smiling reassuring, Cinnamon reached out, wrapping her red lacquered long taloned fingers around JJ's thin upper arm. "There's nothing here that I haven't used many times myself, and I can guarantee that you will have no adverse side effects. Why, if it wasn't for these little treats, some of my Spices would have never taken their first steps out onto the stage and into their brand new lives!"

"But this is not MY life!" JJ declared, crossing her pom poms over her chest as she stared defiantly at the older woman. The thumping music grew louder in the background as Peppermint took the stage out front and JJ half-yelled, "I'm a federal agent, remember? And I'm fairly certain that some of the ingredients in those items might be illegal in most of these United States!"

"Including this one," Emily Prentiss added, reaching out and grabbing the steaming cup. Taking a tentative sniff as she let the aroma fill her senses, she wrinkled her nose as she said, "Not exactly Earl Gray, is it?"

Snatching the delicate tea cup from Emily's fingers, Cinnamon frowned as she pushed the warm china toward JJ. "Here, dear. Pay no attention to anyone else. Just take a sip, and if you don't like it, you don't have to drink anymore." Winking, she added, "I would never steer a good friend of Davey's wrong!"

"I really don't think..." JJ began, grimacing as she, too, lifted the steaming china cup to her nostrils.

"Rule one," Cinnamon began impatiently, tapping her open-toed stiletto against the floor, "stop thinkin', honey. When it comes to takin' clothes off, I know more than all you girls put together. That," she said, jabbing a delicate finger toward the cup in JJ's hand, "is simply an all-natural tea I concocted years ago to help my spices take the edge off. All the ingredients are perfectly legal and can be bought down at the GNC down the street."

"Fine," JJ sighed, take a cautious sip and wincing as the bitter flavor assaulted her taste buds. "What's IN this?" she gagged, pushing the cup back into Cinnamon's hands.

Rolling her eyes, Cinnamon shook her head sadly as she pursed her painted lips into a disapproving frown. "Now I see why Davey is so smitten with you. He always did have a thing for drama queens. Listen, honey, there ain't a thing in this to hurt you," Cinnamon said tersely, thrusting the cup back into JJ's hands. "Just drink it."

"I am NOT a drama queen," JJ replied pertly. "I'm simply a little out of my element. And I'm not taking one more swallow of this swill until I know it isn't poisoned."

"It's a basic tea laced with yohimbe root, honey," Cinnamon explained, gesturing at the cup. "It's an all natural relaxant. Nothing more, nothing less. Now, please, darlin...time's tickin'," Cinnamon reminded her, tapping her slim wrist watch.

Groaning as Emily nudged her arm and nodded to the cup in JJ's hands, she muttered, "Fine! I guess I could do with a little relaxation." Draining the cup a moment later, JJ licked her lips. "That stuff kinda grows on you," she said, surprised, dabbing at the corners of her mouth.

"Mmmm," Cinnamon hummed, handing the tray back to one of her willing assistants. "That's the DamianaDamiana in it. It can be fairly addicting."

"The what?" Emily asked suspiciously, her eyes narrowing as she glared at the older woman.

"The DamianaDamiana essence in it," Cinnamon echoed.

"What exactly IS that, Madam Cinnamon," JJ asked slowly, swaying as she felt a slow warmth blooming in her stomach. What the hell had this woman inflicted on her?

"No worries, sugah," Cinnamon soothed, reaching out a hand to steady the blonde. "You'll thank me later." And with a wink at Emily, she added, "So will Davey."

"Oh boy," Emily muttered under her breath, grabbing JJ's arm as she lunged toward the older woman.

"What the hell is this damiana crap, Cinnamon?" JJ growled, her earlier warm and happy feeling fading for the moment.

"Just a little aphrodisiac that the Mexican's swear by. I pick a vial up every time I travel south of the border," Cinnamon shrugged, smiling sweetly as she raised her hands in surrender.

"Oh, my God!" JJ shrieked, waving her pom poms wildly. "She's smuggling in contraband from Mexico, Em! And she fed it to me!" she yelled, turning toward her friend.

"She didn't quite smuggle it," Anise objected prettily, tugging at the edges of her feather-covered costume as she watched the federal agents.

Poppy rolled her bright green eyes at that comment, sniggering as she added, knowingly, "Only because the border agents didn't find it. She hides it underneath the Mexican chocolates she always brings home."

Slamming her pom poms over her ears, JJ scrunched her eyes closed as she yelled out, "No! I can't hear this! I'm not here! I'm really, really not here!" The sound of JJ's sudden chorus of nonsensical la-la-las filled the small room, competing with the music and cheers coming from the main floor.

Shaking her head at the antics before her, Madam Cinnamon passed the small tea cup back to her helpful spices as she motioned for Emily to grab one of JJ's hands as she pulled the other one away. "Agent Jareau! Look at me!"

Letting out a harsh sigh as she cracked open one eye, her vision slightly wavering, JJ peered up at the determined woman. "Tell me there's an antidote to whatever it was you gave me. Please."

"Darlin', give it fifteen minutes," Anise chuckled in amusement, "you'll be beggin' for more. That love juice is some potent stuff."

As if she hadn't already figured out that much, JJ silently grumbled. Even now, she could feel her nipples responding to the cool breeze the tall fans were sending through the dressing area, each wisp of air caressing her scantily clad body. And damn if her blood hadn't all seemed to divert to her southerly regions.

"Unfortunately," Emily said, pressing two fingers to her earpiece, "we don't have fifteen minutes." Shooting JJ an apologetic look she murmured, "All units are in place."

"Is that code for "It's showtime"?" Cinnamon asked archly.

"It is," Emily said solemnly, watching as JJ again swayed in her four inch heels.

Smiling brightly as she looked between her stripping mentor and her frowning friend, JJ giggled then, her emotions once again swinging in the opposite direction. "Well, this gives a whole new meaning to let's do it, doesn't it?"


	10. Chapter 10

_Author's Note: We're excited to announce our Round 3 of our Fanfic Challenge on Chit Chat on Author's Corner forum. The __**Dealer's Choice August Challenge**__ is a great way to stretch your writing muscles! Please see the forum for further details. We'd love to have you! And please visit the forum to read our latest interview with the simply amazing __**JWynn**__! And, please remember our fellow author,__** Angel N Darkness**__, who was in a serious car accident on Sunday. Visit the discussion thread to leave your best wishes. Updates on her condition will be posted there as we receive them. We've also added two new discussion threads, __**"Let's Play, "Name**__**Your Beta""**__ for those of you that want to publicly recognize and recommend your beta and __**"Chit Chat with the Authors"**__ for those that have questions related to writing and Criminal Minds fanfiction. Please drop by and check it out. _

**The Spice Rack**

**Chapter Ten**

David Rossi was currently in what had to be the seventh level of hell, suffering the sweetest torture imaginable. His vision filled with the beautiful woman in his lap, he knew this had to be the Almighty's payback for him previous playboy ploys that he'd pulled over his untold years. But damn, no matter what any theological scholar might say otherwise, he was certain that his punishment was worth any crime he'd committed.

Holding his drink with one hand in a grip that should have shattered glass, David Rossi held his breath as he stared up into the glassy eyes of his partner in crime as the thumping music swelled around their small table, his fingers aching to stroke the sweet bare flesh that had been revealed to him. But to do so would be to violate the very strict rules that Madam Cinnamon had deemed necessary for the safety of her dancers.

But damn…this wasn't just another pretty face. This was his Jennifer. And somehow, Jennifer Jareau had made a common lap dance into an act that defied description tonight. And, normally, he'd have been thrilled beyond his wildest dreams to have this woman slipping and sliding in that special way. But something was off.

She'd strode out on the catwalk half an hour ago with a confidence and swagger that had astounded him, her long blond hair streaming behind her when she'd pulled her peppy little bow from her hair with a giggle as those pink pom poms had swung in the air. Her five minute jaw-dropping performance on the stage had elicited huge cries and catcalls from the filling club, and a becoming blush had stained her cheeks as she'd danced to the music. It had seemed for a moment that the shy, uncertain young woman from earlier in the day had all but evaporated, and in her place a stunning siren had been left.

A siren that was evidently determined to rob him of his sanity.

Somewhere between the BAU's boardroom and the stripper's stage, Jennifer Jareau had developed a seductive streak that was fueling her every move. And if she moved in that special way once more, he was fairly certain that no court in the land would convict him for what was certain to be a violation of every rule known to polite society.

Barely avoiding the wince that was threatening to escape as he felt her shapely legs slide against his waist once again, her body aligning perfectly with his, Rossi wondered idly if the thermostat in Cinnamon's fine establishment was on the fritz. In spite of his best efforts to corral his raging hormones, he could feel his body temperature rising astronomically and he couldn't help but tug at his already loosened collar as her slight body shimmied once again.

The sound of her hiss broke through his haze-covered thoughts as he heard her exclaim under her breath, "Quit that!"

"I'm not doing anything, sweetheart" Dave replied with a calm he didn't feel, forcing his jaw to relax as she bounced on his lap.

The sound of raucous laughter flew around them, fellow patrons shouting out catcalls as JJ smacked at Rossi's firm chest with those ever present pom poms. "Yes, you are! You're poking me!"

"I promise I'm not doing it on purpose," Rossi declared, remembering at the last moment that he was supposed to be playing the part of an enamored customer enjoying a night at the city's premier adult establishment. Hell, how was he supposed to be on the look out for an unsub when his eyes were firmly adhered to the vision in his lap? Forcing a leer into his voice, he grinned as he added, eyebrows wriggling, "But I'm open for anything that strikes your fancy, beautiful."

"I bet you are," JJ smiled sweetly, rolling her hips against him again with a bit more force than was absolutely necessary. "But you aren't paying for that experience." Twisting her hips in his lap to the beat of the music, she frowned again. "Seriously, Dave! Quit poking," she ordered against his ear as she dipped her head to slide against him.

"Seriously, Babe," Rossi groaned as her breasts dragged up his chest in a manner certain to give him a heart attack, "I can't help it," he ground out, keeping his masculine smile in place despite the knowing laughter filling the almost-invisible earpiece in his ear. Damned surveillance.

Rolling her eyes, JJ discretely dropped a hand between their bodies, trying to adjust his...problem… herself.

"Jen-," Rossi gasped, recovering quickly, "I mean Ginger!" he gaped, covering the hand currently trying to maneuver his hardened member, "What the hell are you doing, honey?" he said, trying to keep his smile in place as he looked around. Seeing they'd drawn a couple of gawkers, Dave silently cursed. "Honey, maybe we need to move this party to a private room."

"Why, I'm only adjusting so I can give you a better dance," JJ replied petulantly, smacking his hand away as he attempted to stall her movements. "This is actually pretty easy after all," she giggled, wriggling her hips again in an age-old swaying motion. "All I've got to do is move to the beat!" she said, demonstrating in a way that sent Rossi's pulse skyrocketing.

"Hey!" A belligerent voice called out above the music, "My dancer didn't move like that!"

"Hey, Madam Cinnamon! Can I call dibs on Ginger when she's done with that guy?" another voice called suggestively.

"See!" JJ declared with a wide smile, her bright eyes dancing as she gyrated against Rossi. "I'm popular!"

"Sweet Jesus," Dave moaned, the cackles in his ear piece growing louder as thoughts of killing Hotch and Morgan pervaded his thoughts, "Don't move like that, Babe," he ground out, dropping the glass heavily to the small table beside him. "Or be prepared for more than just a little poke!"

Staring down at him seductively, JJ shrugged her bare slim shoulders as she swayed her breasts in front of him. "What's new? You've been trying to poke me for months."

Hearing the guffaws deafening his eardrums, Dave silently groaned. "Good God, JJ," he whispered, staring into her brilliant blue eyes as he searched for any sign or clue that would grant him just the least insight into this entire confused situation. "Are you drunk?"

"Nope!" JJ declared happily, her stomach doing a warm flip as she rubbed herself against Dave's growing length again, "I just had a cup of tea. Madame Cinnamon's orders!"

"Was it laced with Rohypnol?" Dave growled as JJ tossed her hair over one toned shoulder.

"Nope," she sang out, sweeping the pom poms over his perfectly styled hair as she smiled again. "It was something else, though. Madam Cinnamon thought I needed to be a bit more accepting of this culture. And you know what? I think I like it!"

"Oh, I can believe that," he moaned as her warm heat made contact with a decidedly attentive part of his anatomy. His hiss filled the air as he ground out, his fingers clenching the edge of the leather chair, "Tell me you're wearing something under that skirt, Beautiful."

"Now what type of girl would I be if I answered that question?" Shaking a narrow finger in front of his eyes, JJ grinned wildly as she sang out, "That's for me to know and you to find out!"


	11. Chapter 11

**_Author's Note_**_: We're excited to announce our Round 3 of our Fanfic Challenge on Chit Chat on Author's Corner forum. The **Dealer's Choice August Challenge** is a great way to stretch your writing muscles! Please see the forum for further details. We'd love to have you! And please visit the forum to read our latest interviews with the simply amazing **SussiRay and cmfanbex**! And please join our newest discussion threads, **"What's on Your Bookshelf"** where readers tell us about the published books and authors that inspire them and **"The Art of the Well-Crafted** **Author's Note...To Write or Not To Write"**. Please drop by and check them out. And lastly, please keep our fellow authors, **Angel N Darkness** and **Darcie91 **within your prayers. Both ladies have been in serious accidents and have separate discussion threads where readers and authors alike may leave their best wishes! That's all for this time folks! Thanks to all who have read, reviewed, favorited or alerted our stories. We continue to appreciate each one of you!_

**The Spice Rack**

**Chapter Eleven**

Minutes later, David Rossi found himself behind closed doors with Jennifer Jareau ..or as close to closed doors as was available in this fine establishment. While he knew this was part of their preconceived plan, he also felt a moment of relief flood through him, more than thrilled to get the giggling woman away from the all-too-interested crowd out in the main room of the strip club.

Wrapping his arm around her thin waist, he led her into the small, private room as he pulled the curtain tightly closed behind them. Something was definitely out of whack with his young beauty, and he had a sinking feeling that it just wasn't the thrill of the moment.

Well aware of the hidden audience they had to their not-so-private conversation, Dave turned JJ by her thin shoulders as he tilted her chin. Staring clinically into her dilated blue eyes, the dim overhead light barely casting enough glow , Dave growled softly, "Jen, what in the hell has gotten into you?"

"I told you, Davey Davey Dave," JJ sing-songed, swaying slightly on her four-inch stilettos as she patted teasingly at his broad chest, her nails trailing the fabric languorously. "Your friendly Cinnamon let me sip her delish tea, 'member?"

"Trust me, babe, Cin and I'll be discussing her use of questionable and unscheduled stimulants very soon," Dave assured the young woman, catching her as she swayed too far to the left and almost toppled off her stick-thin perches.

"And then…then..then that really sweet Tarragon handed me a special candy just before I went out into the lights," JJ added, pressing a hand to her suddenly warm cheek as she smacked her full lips. "It was really yummy, too, Dave! She said all the girls ate them, you know."

"Candy?" Dave frowned, gasping as JJ's slender hand descended down his button down shirt to linger over a very delicate area. "Honey," Dave murmured, catching the questing hand with his, "I really don't think now is the time for that."

"Not the time?" JJ huffed, gazing up at him with dilated eyes. "It's way past da time, Davey," JJ smiled loopily as she pressed her fingers against his lips. "I thought you were gonna check to see if I had my undies?" she asked petulantly.

"Are you guys getting this?" Dave hissed to his unseen audience as he valiantly attempted to avoid her pouting frown. "Something's off here, Hotch," he said on a low growl as he tilted JJ's face to peer down into her unfocused eyes.

"Take it off?" JJ queried happily, peeling off her short skirt with nimble hands to reveal her g-string covered rump. "All done!" she said merrily as she threw her hands in a ta-da position and pressed her curvaceous body to his.

"God, Jennifer," Dave hissed as her busy hands cupped his manhood again, squeezing gently through his all-too-tight jeans. "Hotch, " Dave hissed, louder this time, "Did you hear me, man?"

"We all hear you, Dave," Hotch returned, his voice choked through the wireless device. "But, we're not seeing any movement yet. Just try to keep her under control and we'll sort out what happened later. Unless you think JJ is in imminent peril."

But any reply Dave might have made was abruptly halted as JJ lifted on her tiptoes and pressed her voracious mouth to his. Dear God, Dave thought dimly, he'd known the electric sizzle had existed between the two of them, but he'd never felt anything as charged as what was happening inside the small airless cubicle they'd been assigned. "JJ," Dave whispered hoarsely against her busy lips, mindful of the multiple sets of ears listening to their every word. "Not now, babe."

"I like your kisses," JJ mumbled happily, sucking Dave's lower lip into her mouth with a loud slurp.

"Dave!" Hotch's voice growled warningly through the almost-hidden earwig.

Pulling back slightly as his hands steadied JJ's small waist when she swayed closer, Dave groaned. "Not exactly my fault, Aaron!" he rumbled, trying to still the small hands busily attacking his belt buckle and shirt simultaneously, "I'm dealing with a drugged octopus here! Tell Emily to find Cinnamon and Tarragon and find out exactly what the hell they gave JJ!" he demanded as he fended off the not-so-unwanted advances of the obviously drugged beauty.

"On it," Hotch affirmed through the earpiece in Dave's ear.

"JJ, no, baby," Dave moaned as JJ lifted one hand and untied the cinched string holding the halter of her outfit up. How could this be his life? For months, he'd dreamed of this gorgeous woman taking off her clothes for him, and now, NOW!, he couldn't even enjoy the damned show! "You can't do that, sweetheart," Dave whispered, quickly catching the loose stings around her neck and retying them just as one of her hands dove underneath his trousers to pull his throbbing manhood into her grasp.

"Why not?" JJ asked dazedly, trying to narrow her eyes but failing mightily in the effort. "My boobs are great! And they're real...not like Cinnie's mini's," JJ said, blowing him a raspberry before popping a sloppy kiss against his lips.

"God, Babe," Dave groaned as her fingers stroked him again. "You can't do that!"

"Can so," JJ sang, smiling drunkenly as she watched Dave screw his eyes shut. "Why aren't you looking at me? I'm good at handjobs!" she added, stomping her foot and tightening her grip on him as her stiletto wobbled beneath the effort. "My last boyfriend told me so!"

"Jen!" Dave hissed, slapping a hand over her moving lips as he attempted to quell the massive stirring in his body.

"What the hell?" he heard Morgan yelp into his ear. "What the hell did they give our girl, Rossi?"

"I have no idea," Dave gasped, trying furtively to pull JJ's hand away despite her and his body's violent protest. "Screw it, guys! Get Cinnamon in here!" Dave demanded with a growl.

"Cinnamon!" JJ humphed, pressing her lips to Dave's neck and nipping sharply. "I'm younger...and more limber...and more flexible..."

"Jen, honey, believe me...if I was gonna do this with anybody right now, it'd be you," Dave murmured softly against JJ's ear, pressing a chaste kiss to the delicate shell. "But not now and certainly not like this, babe."

"Haven't you heard, Davey?" JJ said, pushing Dave down into the single chair in the closet-like vestibule. "There's no time like the present," she announced, pouncing on him with the precision of an agile cat intent on capturing its prey.


	12. Chapter 12

**_Author's Note__: We're excited to announce our Round 3 of our Fanfic Challenge on "Chit Chat on Author's Corner" forum is up to 62 participants. And you still have three more days to sign up if interested. We'd love to have everyone, whether you've authored hundreds of stories or never written a thing! This is for everyone! The Dealer's Choice August Challenge is a great way to stretch your writing muscles! Please see the forum for further details. And if you've never visited the forum, drop by for a visit. Everyone interested in Criminal Minds fanfiction and/or writing is welcome. We'd love to have you! As always, we want to take a moment and say thanks to all who have read, reviewed, favorited or alerted our stories. We continue to appreciate each one of you!_**

**The Spice Rack**

**Chapter Twelve**

In spite of his valiant efforts to resist the stunning temptation set before him, David Rossi knew when to consider himself a goner. And from all the signs around him, this was definitely the time to admit that he was sunk and to surrender to the fates.

Feeling JJ's wonderfully soft lips latch onto his with a fierceness fueled by passion, he couldn't help but return her affection. God almighty, she was perfect in every way, he thought appreciatively as his hands slid over her shapely rump, scooting her closer as she tightened her arms around his neck. And seconds later, his back leaning against the sturdy chair, her tiny body was wrapped completely around his, he found himself holding up her slight weight as she rained kisses over his whiskered face.

Somehow, though, his rational mind determinedly broke through the lust-induced haze, and the voice of reason once again sounded piously in his mind. Or it could have been the violent words bouncing in his ear, his unit chief ordering him to answer. Either way, the spell broke for a moment, much to JJ's obvious dismay.

Pulling away reluctantly, Dave tore his lips from hers as he gasped, staring down into her flashing eyes, "JJ, we can't. Not here, babe. We need to find out what's happened to you, remember?"

"Don't care anymore!" JJ objected with a gasp, trying to tighten her arms into place as she attempted to pull his neck toward her again. Bouncing her rear up and down against his solid hands, she demanded, "Just wanna have fun, Davey! Why don't you wanna have fun with me? Don't you like me anymore?"

Ignoring the sound of Morgan's cackles in his ear, Rossi let out a deep sigh as he assured her, "Of course I like you, honey. But we need for Cinnamon to tell us what in hell you've taken first. Then…"

But the swish of the curtain interrupted his words just then, and the grinning face of Madam Cinnamon filled the doorway. But Cinnamon's bright smile dissolved just as quickly as it had appeared as she took in the scene before her. "Honey chile, no!" Cinnamon hissed, quickly moving forward to pry JJ's insistent hands from around Dave's neck, "My girls are supposed to give our gentlemen a good show, darlin'. Not a happy ending!" And slapping the back of Dave's dark head, she complained with a sad shake of her coiffed head, "And shame on you, Davey! You know better, blast it!"

Supporting JJ's hips when she would have careened off his lap, Dave growled impatiently, his eyes glinting in the dimly lit room, "YOU'RE actually blaming me for this, Cin? Damn it, what did you and your voodoo priestesses put in my girl?" he snapped, gently capturing one of JJ's questing hands in his before she could once again attempt to search for hidden treasure.

"I BEG your pardon," Cin snapped indignantly, her hands landing on her curvaceous hips as she glared at her former best customer. "You KNOW I run a clean establishment, Davey."

"What I know," Dave grunted, wincing when JJ thrust herself against an incredibly sensitive part of his anatomy, "is that this is NOT how my Jennifer acts."

"So," Cinnamon smirked, eyes narrowing in decided amusement, "You DO admit she's yours! I THOUGHT so. That's why you haven't been in to see us in forever."

"Cinnamon," Dave growled, "Stay focused. What the hell was in that so-called tea you poured down JJ's throat?"

"Yummy goodness," JJ sighed, licking Dave's ear like a cat as she shimmied against his strong chest.

Raising a painted brow, Cinnamon frowned at the vivacious blonde. "Actually, it tastes like boiled tree bark. But it IS all-natural. AND perfectly legal," Cin insisted, stomping one heel shod foot.

"What about the candy?" Dave groaned as JJ's voracious lips attacked his collar bone, peppering sweet kisses across his strained muscles.

"What candy?" Cinnamon asked blankly, her brow furrowing. "I never gave her any candy."

"Nope, that's true," JJ giggled, bouncing on Dave's lap again. "Tarragon said that it was on the DL," JJ mocked whispered, blowing in Dave's ear as her tongue swiped at his earlobe.

"The DL?" Dave asked, struggling to keep JJ still, which he was beginning to realize was a futile task assigned to him by some mischievous demonic emissary.

"The down low," Cinnamon said succinctly, frowning hard as she stepped further into the room. Staring into JJ's dilated eyes, she asked, suspiciously, "Honey, are you sure it was Tarragon? There were a lot of Spices back there with us tonight."

"Uh huh!" JJ declared brightly, smiling widely at the other woman. "She said it was a special peppermint...and it was sooooo good."

"What the hell, Cin?" Dave hissed. "The woman I remembered had better control of her girls than this," he accused, narrowing his eyes darkly as he tightened his grip worriedly on JJ.

"I still do, Davey. At least, I usually do. But Tarry's been not herself since that last beau she had broke up with her. He couldn't handle the fact that she was strippin' her way through school. Said it was either the books or the bimbos. And she took it hard," Cinnamon sighed, pressing a manicured finger to her cheek. "But, I thought she was better, considerin' that the smug bastard came crawlin' back to her."

"Wait!" Dave said, holding up a hand, almost dumping JJ out of his lap in the process. "You've got a stripper that has a boyfriend that hates strippers?"

"Well, hate is a strong word," Cin mumbled as her eyes suddenly widened. "Wait! You don't think one of my little Spices has anything to do with all this fuss?"

"This fuss includes women getting killed, Cin. I'd say it's beyond 'a little fuss', wouldn't you? And, hell yeah, I think it's possible. Especially given the fact that one of your girls drugged the woman in my arms!"

"But-"

Holding up a hand for silence, Dave hissed, his focus laser clear, "Hotch, Morgan...are you getting all this?"

"We're getting it, Dave. Surveilling the area now," Hotch's scratchy voice communicated through the ear wig.

"Did Tarragon know there was a sting going down tonight?" Dave hissed, holding a rapidly slowing JJ more closely.

"No," Cinnamon shook her head. "I only pulled in the girls you requested. She just thought JJ was my newest Spice and that I was letting you sample the newest wares."

"Well, thank God for small favors. But, we need to find out what your girl gave, JJ, Cin. And we need to find out fast," Dave muttered just as JJ slumped heavily in his arms.


	13. Chapter 13

_**Author's Note: We have a couple of announcements for you all today. We're proud to announce that signups are open for the Fanfic Challenge - Round 4 on our forum, "Chit Chat on Author's Corner" or, as we like to call it, the "PYOP Challenge" (pick your own pairing challenge) through September 1st. For those interested, simply go to the forum to the PWOP Challenge thread and sign up with your favorite pairing. On September 2nd, we'll assign you a scenario to write provided by some of our lovely fellow authors. This will give everybody an opportunity to write what they love and provide readers with some awesome stories. Please sign up at the forum or shoot us a PM signifying your willingness to participate. So, please come join the fun and let's make this the most successful challenge yet!**_

_**Also, we've opened a new thread called, "Find a Fic...with the help of all your friends". Ever had a story for which you simply couldn't recall the title. This thread is the place to begin searching. Details can be found on the thread. I hope you all find it a helpful addition to the forum. As always, any ideas for new threads are welcome!**_

_**We also have wonderful new interviews with two equally amazing authors posted. Please check out the-vampire-act and emzypemzy interviews and let them know your thoughts!**_

_**And, as always, thanks to everybody still reading, reviewing, alerting and favoriting our stories. We couldn't do this without your support!**_

**The Spice Rack**

**Chapter Thirteen**

"Dammit!" Rossi snapped, shifting JJ's limp body quickly as he tried to tilt her head. Slapping gently at her pale cheeks, he ordered, "Jennifer! Open your eyes, babe!"

But his orders went unheeded, JJ's head flopping against his shoulder. Easing open one eyelid, Rossi growled as he stared down into her pupils, "Okay, people, that's it. She's stoned on something and we need answers."

The earwig buzzed to life again as Hotch's voice demanded, "Dave? What's happened?"

"JJ's succumbed to the freaking drugs," Rossi hissed, snuggling his precious cargo closer. "We've got to get her to a doctor, Hotch. If we don't know what drugs she's taken, then…"

But his harsh words were interrupted as Morgan said, his voice sounding through the earphone, "Wait! We've got an unapproved subject coming through a side door into the back hallway. Approximately six feet tall, blonde hair, small mustache. Damn, he's moving toward your zone, Rossi."

"We're right behind him, Dave," Hotch said, his voice terse, the sound of scuffling echoing through the signal.

Motioning toward the far corner of the small closet-sized room, Rossi ordered, "Cinnamon, get in the corner. We're about to have company." Easing JJ's sleeping body down on the small loveseat, he swept a strand of hair off of her clammy forehead before turning back toward Cinnamon. Glancing toward the curtain covered door, he ordered, "Describe Tarragon's boyfriend. Quickly."

"Uhhh," Cinnamon stuttered as her eyes widened when Dave shifted JJ to the couch and jerked her behind him, pulling his gun, "he's got a scar from a motorcycle accident over one eye and a spider web tattoo on his left elbow."

"Affirmative," Morgan snapped tensely through the earwig, Cinnamon's words carrying through the headphone. "Christ, Rossi, I just lost him on the south corridor!"

Lips compressing, Rossi barked, easing the curtain to the side so that he could peer down the hallway, "Hotch, have we got all the exits covered?"

"Agents on every door and Garcia is monitoring movement on her computer," Hotch replied brusquely. "Morgan, find him," Hotch demanded. "Dave, Emily has Tarragon in custody and Garcia is running a background check."

"Good," Dave grunted, his eyes trained on the end of the hallway, his shoulders tense as he watched for any movement. "Find out what the fuck she gave Jen."

"On it," Hotch replied.

"What's happening now?" Cinnamon worried, glancing up from where she knelt beside JJ on the floor, her hand resting against the prone woman's arms.

"They've got your Spice in custody and they're tracking her partner through the club," Dave bit out. "How's JJ?" he asked, glancing at the unconscious woman on the small couch, his heart clenching again at the thoughts of her hurting.

Pressing a finger to her neck, Cin nodded. "Her heartbeat is strong and steady and her breathing isn't labored. It looks like she's just sleeping deeply, Davey."

Nodding, Rossi pushed the curtain open a little more to evaluate their position. "Honest to God, Cin, when this is over, we're going to have a serious discussion about your hiring practices. You need to vet these girls."

"I did! I do! You aren't gonna find anything on Tarry! She's just gotten mixed up with the wrong fella," Cinnamon defended her employee, her eyes flashing as she shook her head.

"She got mixed up with a psychotic unsub, Cinnamon. Don't sugarcoat it," Dave retorted, his hand gripping tighter around the hilt of his gun. "Your Spice is culpable, and I'm going to make sure she does hard time for endangering JJ," he said angrily, nodding toward the woman sprawled loosely on the only piece of furniture in the room.

"You really have a hankering for this one," Cinnamon said knowingly with a nod toward Jennifer. "She sure must be somethin' special. You don't get your panties in a twist for just anybody."

"My underwear is just fine, Cin," Dave muttered under his breath, pressing a finger against his earwig and wishing somebody would say something. Anything. This needed to be over with so he could get Jen to a doctor immediately.

"And the Devil is serving ice water in hell, too," Cin snorted, tucking JJ's hair behind her ear. Staring down at the agent's slack face, she murmured, "Pity she's not interested in this line of work, you know. She's a pretty one. But, then, you always did attract the beauties like a moth to a flame."

"Trust me, Cin...I haven't attracted her as much as I'd like to believe otherwise," Dave muttered, his lips pursing, never taking his eyes off the hallway as he listened to Cinnamon's nervous chatter.

"You're still blind as a bat, Davey. This little thing was all over you like a fly on molasses," Cin remarked with a faint smile.

"Because she was drugged out of her mind," Dave bit out, furious at the people that had put her in harm's way, including himself. Hell, it had been his damned bright idea to use her as a decoy. Now, look at the mess he'd created with his own selfish motivations. If there were any consequences for his choices, he'd never be able to forgive himself.

"She wasn't drugged when she was starin' at you with her heart in her eyes this mornin'," Cin said knowingly, leaning against the arm of the couch. "I might not be one of your Bureau geniuses, Davey, but I know the look of a woman in love. Believe me."

"Cin," Dave declared tightly, his shoulders stiff, "When this is over, I'm springing for new eyeglasses for you."

"My sight is twenty-twenty when it comes to matter of the heart," Cinnamon told him primly with a warning glare. "Told your sorry ass that last wife wasn't the one before you shoved that gold on her finger, didn't I? Matter of fact, I think I tried to warn your sorry hide all three times."

"Your point?" Dave asked, his voice clipped as his eagle eyes darted around the hallway searching for signs of an intruder.

"My point is, I ain't sayin' that with this one here," Cinnamon clarified, jerking her head toward JJ's unconscious body.

Sighing heavily, Dave growled, "Cin, do you think we could focus on the issue at hand, rather than my questionable love life? In case it escaped your notice, there's a deranged whack job somewhere in your club!"

"Honey, there's a deranged whack job standin' in front of my face," Cinnamon retorted just as sounds of a scuffle from somewhere nearby echoed into their small cubicle.


	14. Chapter 14

_**Author's Note: We have a couple of announcements for you all today. We're proud to announce that signups are open for the Fanfic Challenge - Round 4 on our forum, "Chit Chat on Author's Corner" or, as we like to call it, the "PYOP Challenge" (pick your own pairing challenge) through September 1st. For those interested, simply go to the forum to the PYOP Challenge thread and sign up with your favorite pairing. On September 2nd, we'll assign you a scenario to write provided by some of our lovely fellow authors. This will give everybody an opportunity to write what they love and provide readers with some awesome stories. Please sign up at the forum or shoot us a PM signifying your willingness to participate. So, please come join the fun and let's make this the most successful challenge yet!**_

_**We also have wonderful new interviews with the lovely Sarramaks and hot4cullenmen! Please check it out and let them know your thoughts!**_

_**We've also added two fun new prompt threads. One is called, "Fortune Cookie Fridays" based on an idea submitted by LoveforPenandDerek. Come by and check it out...perhaps, it will feed the muse. And the other is called, "Getting to Know...YOU! Tell us about yourself" It asks five simple questions that allow readers and authors alike to briefly tell us about who they are.**_

_**And, as always, thanks to everybody still reading, reviewing, alerting and favoriting our stories. We couldn't do this without your support!**_

* * *

**The Spice Rack**

**Chapter Fourteen**

"Stay in the corner," Dave ordered, leveling his gun at the curtain partition separating them from the hallway.

"David Joseph Rossi, don't you dare shoot up my club," Cinnamon replied vehemently from the corner as she pulled JJ toward her, wrapping the sleeping blonde's head in her arms.

Frowning as the curtain wavered slightly, Dave's hand tightened around the gun.

He tensed as he heard a voice hiss from the other side.

"Anise! In here!"

Ripping back the curtain, Dave growled at the two scantily clad women cowering in the middle of the open corridor. "What the hell are the two of you DOING?" Dave growled, reaching out and jerking first one woman and then the other behind him.

"Madam Cinnie!" the younger of the two women yelped, her hands pressed tightly to her pale cheeks. "We got trouble out front! That dark haired lady that was workin' with Gin-". Stopping abruptly, the redhead shook her head furiously as the other girl stood behind her chafing her arms. "What happened to Ginger?" she asked, her eyes growing big as she saw the collapsed blonde for the first time.

"She's been drugged, Rosemary," Cinnamon said patiently, motioning for the newcomers to move further into the small closet-sized room.

"What about the dark haired lady that was with Jen...I mean, Ginger?" Dave asked hurriedly, his attention shifting from the two new girls back to the now-quiet hallway.

"Well, her and Tarry were in a fuss. Then, that dark haired lady pulled a GUN, Madam Cinnie!" Rosemary exclaimed. "Me and Anise...we hightailed it outta there!"

"Good girl," Madame Cinnamon soothed, pulling both girls down in the floor beside her.

"We've gotta call the cops, Cinnamon," Anise worried aloud, her eyes widening almost comically. "That black headed woman was given Tarragon down the road, wavin' that gun around in her face!" Pointing at Dave, she added, worriedly, "Just like he is!"

"That woman IS the law, Anise, honey," Cinnamon sighed. "And our Tarragon is in a spot of trouble. Dave's here to help us fix it."

"A SPOT?" Dave spat incredulously. Pressing the earwig in his ear, Dave growled, "Aaron, are you getting all this?"

"I am," Hotch confirmed, "According to Emily, Tarragon dosed JJ with Rohypnol. Morgan is still in pursuit of the unsub and we've got uniforms in place. Just stay where you are."

"Rohypnol?" Dave echoed, infuriated at the lengths to which these bastards had gone and the danger that JJ had faced. "Hotch, we need..."

"We need to get this guy, Dave, before he does any more damage. And JJ would agree with me," Hotch said sternly, cutting him off. "We've consulted the EMTs; she's not in imminent danger. The drug, when ingested, has a sedative effect. In short, she's sleeping it off."

"Christ!" Dave hissed angrily. "What are the side effects?"

"She may only remember pieces of tonight," Hotch replied evenly. "Which, between you and me, may work to your benefit."

"I was a perfect gentleman," Dave retorted. And it was true. He'd kept his hands to himself as much as possible. Of course, it hadn't stopped his active imagination. And he fully intended to explore her luscious body further at a future date, hopefully soon...when she was fully coherent instead of passed out cold.

Glancing at the women huddled behind him, Dave muttered, "Hotch, man, it's getting kind of crowded in here. Maybe we need to think about extracting some of the..."

"Dave, standby," Hotch ordered urgently. A second later his deep voice growled, "Unsub is approaching your sector. He's been spotted by one of Cinnamon's girls."

"Morgan?" Dave growled in return, shifting his aim quickly toward the still-closed curtain.

"Unsub knocked him out cold. Beer bottle over the head," Hotch replied, his voice fading in and out over the headset.

"Son of a bitch! Hotch, get me some backup in here, damn it. I've got four goddamn women to protect and one damn gun."

"On my way," Hotch's tinny voice shot back, static suddenly obscuring his following words.

Pressing his finger against the earwig nestled inside his ear, Rossi frowned as he demanded, "Hotch? Say again. I lost you, man."

But instead of the unit chief's staid, focused voice, all David Rossi could hear was the sounds of static, suddenly fading to absolutely nothingness. Cursing under his breath, Rossi jerked the ear piece out and stared at it for a moment before slamming it back into place. Dammit, he thought to himself as he returned his full focus to the door, now was not the time to lose communication with his team!

"Uh, Davey," Cinnamon asked hesitantly, her eyes narrowing as she saw the man grow more agitated. "What's happened now?"

"No news, Cin," Dave assured her quickly, his lie coming smoothly as he watched the two newest visitors to their small room crowd closer to their leader. His jaw clenching, he ordered, softly, "Just keep your eyes on your girls and JJ."

Just as he gave that order, Dave heard the undeniable sound of footsteps outside the small curtained door. Holding up a hand to stall any response Cinnamon or the other Spices might have been thinking of making, he crept a step closer to the thinly-covered opening, his ears listening closely for any additional noises.

Heaviness hung in the air, the dimly lit room seeming to grow smaller by the passing second as he trained his gun on the flimsy curtain. He couldn't afford to be on the offense at this moment, not when he had four possible victims to protect. Defense was his only option.

Hearing a whimper come from the corner behind him, followed by the definite sound of a hand being slapped over someone's lips, Dave forced himself to remain focused on the doorway. And at that moment, just as he was certain that he saw the curtain start to move, he heard the unmistakable sound of Aaron Hotchner's voice ringing in his ears…and in the hallway.

"Stop! FBI!"

Dave jerked open the curtain then as the sounds of a scuffle filled the air, his gun trained directly on the chest of a man dressed all in black. "Don't even think about moving, you son of a bitch," he ordered, his words bit out as he stared into the eyes of the man that had attempted to harm his JJ.

Moments later as Hotch snapped handcuffs onto their unsub's wrists behind his back, a very angry and agitate Madame Cinnamon barreled out of the small private room behind Dave. "Did you get that yellow bellied, no good…" she railed, stopping abruptly as she came face to face with the man that had been intent on ruining her good name and hurting her girls. "It IS you! Get him, girls!" Cinnamon ordered her two spices, pushing the younger girls forward.

And in horror, David Rossi and Aaron Hotchner watched as the defenseless man was attacked with two pair of stiletto heels, the sounds of wailing and not-so-manly cries filling the hallway.

"Dave! Help me out here," Hotch growled, trying to ward off the spices' blows and gain control of the situation.

Nodding toward Prentiss and Morgan jogging up behind him, Dave shook his head. "I've got better things to do," he bit out, pointing toward JJ still on the floor, already moving in her direction. "I say to let the girls have him. They'll take care of him better than any judicial system ever could."

And, unfortunately, even as Hotch struggled to detangle Madam Cinnamon's hands from their suspect's beefy neck, he couldn't have agreed more.


	15. Chapter 15

_**Author's Note: Hello, readers! Again, several announcements to make...please visit our discussion forum, "Chit Chat on Author's Corner". We have introduced a new discussion thread called, "Announcing the Profiler's Choice Criminal Minds Awards on fanfiction. net 2010". Please see this thread for tentative guidelines and know that more details are coming soon. With all of the readers and authors support, I believe we can make this venture an incredibly fun experience! So, please everyone, come on over and take a look. **_

_**Thanks to everyone taking the time to continue reading our work. As always, we couldn't ask for better readers than those in the CM fandom and we appreciate everyone taking time to let us know what you think!**_

_**We have a couple more announcements for you all today. We're proud to announce that signups are open for the Fanfic Challenge - Round 4 on our forum, "Chit Chat on Author's Corner" or, as we like to call it, the "PYOP Challenge" (pick your own pairing challenge) through September 1st. For those interested, simply go to the forum to the PYOP Challenge thread and sign up with your favorite pairing. On September 2nd, we'll assign you a scenario to write provided by some of our lovely fellow authors. This will give everybody an opportunity to write what they love and provide readers with some awesome stories. Please sign up at the forum or shoot us a PM signifying your willingness to participate. So, please come join the fun and let's make this the most successful challenge yet!**_

_**We've also added a new 'Getting to Know" interview with our fellow author, canny-bairn. Please check it out!**_

* * *

**The Spice Rack**

**Chapter Fifteen**

Ten hours later, found David Rossi sitting in what he had decided was his least favorite location on earth. George Washington Memorial Hospital. Or more specifically, a too-small uncomfortable plastic chair wedged between JJ's hospital bed and the bathroom in the middle of George Washington Memorial Hospital. And every passing hour seemed to bring him one step closer to the crumbling ledge of his sanity.

But those ten hours had given him time to draw one unassailable conclusion. If he never saw this beautiful woman lying so pale and still in the confines of a hospital bed again in his lifetime, that would be aces with him. Damn it, why the hell wouldn't she open those bright blue eyes of hers...open her mouth and give him hell for something...anything?

But despite hours of praying, still, nothing. Not a twitch or a flinch. Not a whimper. Not a sound to let him know that she was indeed still the same amazing woman that he was desperate to see again.

Nothing.

And it was driving him stark, raving mad.

For what had to be the hundredth time in the last hour, he reached out to pick up her too-thin, too-pale hand, needing some sort of physical contact to reassure his overactive mind that she was truly still there. Enveloping her fingers in his, he allowed himself whatever comfort he could gain from the contact, rubbing his thumb against her skin in slow motions as he mentally willed her to at least make a move. Any move.

Anything to let him know that she was still there.

Jerking his head up as he heard the squeak of the door, Rossi narrowed his eyes as he saw the serious face of the Unit Chief.

"How is she, Dave?" Aaron Hotchner asked, moving farther into the small room as he glanced at his sleeping agent's face.

Shaking his head, Dave muttered harshly, "Don't think I'm over being furious with you, Aaron. You're the one who agreed to let her get involved in this cockamamie scheme. What the hell were you thinking?"

"I was thinking what I always do, Dave, which is that JJ is a well-trained and qualified agent capable of handling her own in any situation and maintaining her composure," Aaron replied calmly, raising a brow as he watched Dave tighten his grip on the sleeping woman's hand. "However, it appears that you might have slipped a little yourself in that last category."

"Don't push it, Aaron," Rossi warned as he glared across the bed, his fingers tightening around her almost-lifeless hand.

Holding up his hand to forestall what was certain to be a cascading diatribe, Hotch shook his head as he murmured, "Let's not go to war, Dave. I think after the afternoon we've all had, we need to focus on getting JJ well. And it can't happen any too soon. Madame Cinnamon and all of her colleagues are waiting in the hallway to personally offer JJ a job at the club anytime she wants it."

Pursing his lips as his face turned thunderous, Dave growled darkly, "I think I can speak for JJ..."

"Please don't," Hotch muttered, holding up a hand again as he winced. "My head still hurts from the stiletto one of Cinnamon's girl hit me with trying to bury it in our unsub's forehead," he admitted, rubbing his throbbing scalp gingerly.

"You're damn lucky I had my hands full with her," Dave said with a grim nod toward JJ, his eyes softening for a moment as he let his eyes linger on her pale cheeks. "Otherwise..."

"You'd have ripped his throat out," Hotch finished for him wearily, his words matter-of-fact. "I know, I know," he sighed, his shoulder sagging. "But the good news is that the bad guy is behind bars, Dave."

"Guys," Dave corrected immediately, his eyes hardening as he turned back to the newcomer. "Tarragon was as guilty as the unsub, as far as I'm concerned. She's the one that did this to her," Dave said with another nod toward the bed.

"She swears that she didn't know her boyfriend's ultimate intention. Claims she was scared of him," Hotch explained, remembering the detailed interrogation of the woman who had denied all culpability.

"I don't care," Dave growled, enunciating each word clearly. "She could have gotten JJ killed. And I'd be willing to bet that she had a hand in those other strippers' deaths as well."

"Hopefully, we'll find out soon," Hotch nodded, resting his hand against the rail of the bed. "Washington PD is questioning both parties as we speak. With Morgan's invaluable assistance," he added with a grim smile.

"He still smarting over his skirmish with the unsub, huh?" Dave smirked, stroking JJ's hand gently as he kept his eyes focused on her pale face.

"You could say that," Hotch grunted. "I popped in to watch for a few after I got Cinnamon and her girls released from custody."

"I still can't believe DCPD arrested them, too," Dave grunted, rolling his eyes as he imagined the fury that the formidable woman had inflicted on his colleagues in uniform.

"Dave, Cinnamon was threatening to cut off the tallywhacker of the first boy in blue big enough to pull her off the unsub. They kinda take those threats seriously when you make your stiletto heel into a lethal weapon," Hotch declared wryly, barely containing the smile that threatened to spill off his lips.

"Shoulda saved the taxpayers a lot of money and handed him over to Cinnie and her spices," Dave snorted, "They'd certainly have handled things a lot more quickly than Metro."

"Let's just concentrate on JJ now, Dave," Hotch suggested softly. "Has she moved at all yet?"

"Not since she opened her eyes for a split second in the ambulance," Dave said with a shake of his head, resting his hand against her arm. "And quite frankly, right now, I'd give anything for her to open her mouth and give me hell for something."

"Don't worry. I'm fairly certain that will make her list of priorities when she wakes up," Hotch replied easily, arching one brow. "Especially when she finds out how cooperative you were in building the ruse during her drugged state," he teased with a widening smile.

"First of all, she was the one building the ruse. I was molested," Dave said firmly. Seeing Hotch's look of utter disbelief, Dave grinned wickedly. "That's my story and I'm sticking to it."

"Then I'd suggest you find a way to swallow those surveillance tapes," Hotch told him slyly, shaking his head. "They don't exactly back up your story."

But any response Dave might have made was abruptly cut short as the hand in his tightened around his fingers and the bed sheets rustled. Eyes immediately dropping to JJ, Dave watched as her eyes fluttered opened slowly and she blinked several times.

"W-where am I?" JJ asked hoarsely , her throat dry and scratchy from disuse, sounding far, far away even to her own ears.

"I'll get a nurse," Hotch stated quickly, hurrying out of the room.

Leaning over her, Dave brushed the hair from her face as she blinked up at him. Smiling gently, he murmured, "Well, hello, Beautiful. Nice nap?"


	16. Chapter 16

**Author's Note: There are still two days remaining if you'd like to sign up for the "PYOP" (Pick Your Own Pairing) challenge at "Chit Chat on Author's Corner" forum. Please join us in making this our most exciting challenge yet. Details and sign-ups are waiting for you.**

**And, exciting news, my friends, nominating ballots for "The Profiler's Choice Awards" are ready and waiting for you at the "Chit Chat on Author's Corner" forum. So please, everyone, come on over and name some of your favorite fics and authors. Lets honor our favorite stories and authors on the site! We want to hear from you. Rules and guidelines are also available at the forum. **

**For anyone willing to help us advertise the awards, we've created a short author's note template available on both my profile page (ilovetvalot) and my co-author's (tonnie2001969). We'd love to have everybody's help making this venture a huge and fun success. Please feel free to copy and paste it into your own author's notes and/or profiles! With your help, I believe this can become an annual event that we ALL look forward to seeing. I hope that you're all as eager as I am to see this incredible project lift off.**

**Also, we've got a couple of new interviews with two very talented authors available for your viewing pleasure. Please join us as we get to know criminalxxxmindsxxxfreak and Katie N Cassie's Slave 4 Life.**

**The "Fortune Cookie Prompt" thread has been updated for the week of 8/27/2010 on the forum. Please check it out!**

* * *

**The Spice Rack**

**Chapter Sixteen**

Swallowing hard against the tightness in her throat, JJ tried to answer, only to hear a croak come out of her throat. Meeting Rossi's dark, worried eyes, she whispered, "Water?" Why in the world was David Rossi standing beside her? And where was she, after all?

"Your wish is my command, Sleeping Beauty." Already reaching for the plastic pitcher the nurse had left earlier, Rossi quickly filled the small cup and slipped in a straw. Watching as the petite blonde in the bed struggled to push up against the pillows, he cautioned, "Don't even think about moving, Jen, until a doctor says you can."

Letting out a sigh as she flopped back on the pillows, JJ let him guide the straw into her mouth as she took a greedy sip. The coolness of the liquid against her throat was most welcome. Meeting his eyes again as she pressed a hand to her forehead, she asked, voice slightly stronger, "What happened, Dave? Why am I in the hospital?"

Easing down on the bed beside her, Dave stared into those bright blue eyes that he had been afraid he might never see before. "What's the last thing you remember, babe?"

Scrunching her forehead in sudden thought, JJ tried to fight past the grey clouds that had overtaken her memory. Shaking her head, she muttered, "It's not there. I know I'm supposed to remember something, but it's like it's all covered in a haze. The last thing I remember clearly is…"

Dave narrowed his eyes as he watched her eyes haze over again and her voice trailed off. Worriedly, he demanded softly, "Jen? What's wrong? What are you remembering?"

"We were dancing," JJ said slowly, turning to meet his eyes as she pushed up on one elbow on the bed. Her voice strengthened as she demanded, voice growing outraged, "David Rossi, why were we dancing in the middle of the FBI? And why do I keep remembering this strange older woman in a catsuit?"

"Does the name Madam Cinnamon ring any bells for you, babe?" Dave asked, his lips twitching in amusement as he let himself enjoy her returning temper. He would never admit it out loud, but damn, he had missed the little spitfire!

Eyes widening slightly as she gripped the bright orange plastic cup of water in her hands, JJ bobbed her head up and down as she wrapped her lips around the straw again. "A sting! We were going to stage a sting and I was learning how to...OH MY GOD!" she yelped, the straw slipping wildly to the side.

"I see it's all coming back to her now," Dave murmured, moving to perch on the edge of her mattress, calmly covering one of her now trembling hands with his. "Now, babe, it wasn't that bad..." he crooned.

"Not that bad?" JJ joked, meeting his gaze with wild eyes as the cup tilted dangerously in her hand. "Tell me! Tell me was I actually dressed up like a slutty cheerleader?" she wheezed, her chest rising and falling rapidly.

"Well, I thought you looked very peppy," Dave declared solemnly.

Grabbing the tie dangling in front of her, JJ jerked Rossi down to her eye level. "I'm going to assume you meant that I presented a very convincing replication of an enthusiastic student rather than a reference to any part of my anatomy standing at attention."

"Trust me, Bella, it wasn't **your** body parts that were saluting the ceiling," Dave smirked, wriggling his eyebrows.

"Aaargggh!" JJ groaned in disgust, violently shoving his chest away from her. "I'm going to kill you! Just as soon as I find some real clothes," she said, looking around the room for something decent, suddenly aware of the loose gown that was slipping off her shoulders.

"Actually, I think we left your pom poms at the club," Dave winked.

Breathing deeply, JJ struggled for composure. "Do you have a death wish, Rossi?" she asked, striving to keep her voice even as she bit out her question, turning her glare firmly in his direction.

"Absolutely not," Dave said seriously, shaking his dark head. "I've decided that I'm going to live a long, happy life keeping you out of trouble. And by the look of things, that's going to take every second of the years I've got left."

"Keeping me out of trouble?" JJ echoed incredulously, slamming the small plastic cup into his chest. "YOU'RE the one that got me into this mess...whatever THIS MESS is. Since I STILL don't know what happened," she hissed with a meaningful glare.

"Well," Dave drawled, his eyes twinkling as he pried her fingers off of the plastic and placed it on the side table, "It all started with a pair of pink pom poms and the cutest little varsity skirt."

Toying with her IV tubing, JJ smiled ever so sweetly as she declared, "You know, this would make the perfect noose."

"You know I find your thirst for my blood one of your most attractive qualities, right?" Dave asked happily. "Especially when you've been knocked off your ass for hours. Your bitching is honestly music to my ears."

"First, this is NOT bitching. Not yet, at any rate. Second, it isn't your blood that I'm going to be after if you don't start explaining yourself soon. I have much more valuable parts in mind, if you understand my meaning," she threatened with a pointed look. "And third, why the hell do I feel like I've been nine rounds with Ali and don't have a mark on me?" she asked, glancing down at her arms in wonder.

Smiling benignly, Dave shrugged. "That'd be the drugs, babe."

"What drugs?" JJ rapped out, jerking her head back in shock. "I didn't take any drugs. I wouldn't. Especially while on a case!"

"No, you ate the candy, which held the drug," Dave explained patiently, meeting her confused stare.

"Why do I feel like I'm in some alternate universe?" JJ moaned, collapsing back against the thin excuse for a pillow behind her head. Letting out a loud sigh, she demanded, "What candy, Rossi?"

"The candy Tarragon gave you. You ate it and you, Beautiful, got dosed," Dave explained easily. "Which brings us to the hospital and your current predicament."

"My current predicament," JJ repeated, lifting her head to raise an inquiring eyebrow at him.

"Uh huh," Dave nodded solemnly, his eyes raking the woman before him. Relieved to see the color rapidly returning to her cheeks and the flash in those cerulean eyes of hers, he smiled. "Your current predicament," he confirmed for her again.

"I know I'm gonna regret asking, " JJ mumbled to the ceiling as she flopped backward again, "but, I'm a glutton for punishment. What the hell is my current predicament, Dave?" she asked morosely, sincerely wondering how the day could become worse than it already was.

"That would be me, Bella," Dave said, leaning forward to bracket her slim body with his arms as he stared down into guileless eyes. "I'm your current predicament. And, let me tell you, it's gonna take a while to sort this one out."


	17. Chapter 17

**Author's Note: First of all, we have exciting news, my friends! Nominating ballots for "The Profiler's Choice Awards" are ready and waiting for you at the "Chit Chat on Author's Corner" forum. So please, everyone, come on over and name some of your favorite fics and authors. Lets honor our favorite stories and authors on the CM site! We want to hear from you. Rules and guidelines are also available at the forum and as always, tonnie2001969 and I would be delighted to answer any questions that you may have. Now, let's get nominating! Our first ballots are beginning to trickle in and we love hearing from each of you! **

**For anyone willing to help us advertise the awards, we've created a short author's note template available on both my profile page (ilovetvalot) and my co-author's (tonnie2001969). We'd love to have everybody's help making this venture a huge and fun success. Please feel free to copy and paste it into your own author's notes and/or profiles! With your help, I believe this can become an annual event that we ALL look forward to seeing. I hope that you're all as eager as I am to see this incredible project lift off. And a very **_**BIG**_** thanks to all the authors helping us advertise these awards! We truly appreciate any assistance you can provide.**

**We also have several new interviews for you at the forum with the incredibly talented **_**lazywriter123, TML, and Wraith Ink-Slinger**_**. Please join us as we get to know them.**

**Finally, we've added a few new discussion threads for our reader's pleasure. The First is called, **_**"The BAU Bullpen is Open for Business"**_**. It introduces a podcast run by a couple of our fellow authors, **_**BonesBird**_** and **_**clarebones**_**. Please check it out! And lastly, we have our newest **_**Fortune Cookie Friday**_** prompt available. I hope you all will check these exciting threads out. **

**And don't forget to get out there and nominate your favorite authors and stories. We're excited to hear from you!**

* * *

**The Spice Rack**

**Chapter Seventeen**

"In your dreams, Rossi," JJ shot back before he could so much as utter another word. Crossing her arms over her chest as she stared up into those devilish eyes of his, she muttered, "There's nothing to sort out. You got me into this freaking mess, it's over with, and now everything can return to normal."

"Normal?" Rossi parroted, his grin growing wider by the second as he arched one dark brow. "You think there's any such thing as normal any more, Beautiful? I think these last few hours have brought a few things to light that just might shatter any definition of normal you might have had."

Shaking her head, JJ pursed her lips as she did her best to ignore the sudden pitter-pattering of her heart, his nearness seeming to ramp up her circulation system far higher than she liked. Perhaps she could blame it on the drugs. "Give it a break, Rossi. Whatever happened today was the result of whatever drug that I was slipped and your overactive imagination. I'm certain that….."

But any further words she might have been planning to utter were suddenly silenced as his lips descended on hers, effectively tangling her tongue against his . Her sudden gasp only gave him the needed entry to deepen the kiss, blurring her senses and her good judgment with each passing moment.

Finally pulling away with one last nip at her lower lip, Dave smiled as he gazed down into her smoky blue eyes, the flush on her cheeks rising higher and higher as she pressed a trembling finger to her swollen lips. "Now, Jen, what was it that you were certain of?"

"It's the drugs," she mumbled almost incoherently, blinking rapidly as she attempted to dispel whatever charm…or curse...had overtaken her. "It has to be whatever they dosed me with."

"Babe," Dave replied, grinning with barely concealed glee, "I hate to be the one to deliver bad news to you after the night you had, but those drugs left your system about eight hours ago. The only chemistry created by that kiss originated with you and me."

"Liar," JJ whispered hoarsely, her skin tingling where Dave still stroked his strong fingers along her bare arm.

"I'm definitely a lot of less than stellar things, Jen, but we both know that a liar isn't one of them," Dave grinned. "I'm telling the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth."

Damn it, he was right. The egotistical jerk in front of her was indeed speaking the truth. He had singlehandedly almost made honesty into a crime more than once with his lack of tact. Licking her lips, she tried to ignore the way his spicy taste clung to her tongue. And then a worrisome thought invaded her befuddled mind: Exactly how many times had she kissed him tonight? "Look," JJ began huskily, trying to clear her throat to no avail, "right now, I might not be drugged, but I'm not exactly at the top of my game either. Anything I might have done or allowed you to do cannot be held or used against me."

"Making the rules up as you go along, Babe?" Dave smirked, enjoying that rare disconcerted look that crossed her beautiful face. Damn, how he wanted to kiss her again and watch her lose her composure once again!

"They're my rules, I can make them any way I want them," JJ retorted petulantly, lifting a hand to rub her throbbing temple. God, what the hell had Madame Cinnamon and the rest of her merry rack of spices pumped into her? Never had she had a hangover of this magnitude.

"Headache worse?" Dave asked gently, easing her head back against the pillows and tenderly tucking her hair behind her ear as he rubbed his fingers against her scalp. "The doc said you might experience some residual achiness for a day or so."

"Good God," JJ moaned slightly as Dave flipped on the bedside light. "How much of that crap did they feed me?"

"Actually, it was a relatively low dose, thank God. Evidently, our unsub liked to have his girls conscious enough to be afraid. Hence, you didn't overdose," Rossi explained softly, oddly grateful to the unsub. What had been a torture for the other women he'd killed had been a mercy to the woman resting next to him. And at the moment, she was the only female he was remotely concerned with.

"Great, so the glass is half full, right?" JJ said faintly, turning her head to stare at the wall, biting her lower lip.

"Hey," Dave chided, redirecting her gaze back to him with a gentle hand beneath her chin, "You aren't responsible for what that freak was trying to do. You're the reason we caught the bastard, Jen."

"I just wish it had been sooner rather than later," JJ muttered, uncomfortably meeting his eyes in the dim light cast by the cheap lamp on the bed stand.

"That's not on you either," Dave reminded her evenly, sweeping his thumb against her delicate lip. "And right now, you need to focus on regaining your strength so you can deal with the incredible pain in the ass I plan on becoming until you surrender to my better judgment."

"There are so many things wrong with that statement, I don't even know where to begin," JJ said with a small smile and a hint of laughter, the throbbing in her skull easing for the moment as she let herself relax against his touch.

Heart lightening as he watched some of the clouds clear from her eyes, Dave grinned. "I'm sure you'll find an appropriate starting line soon enough. Won't matter though," he shrugged carelessly.

"And why is that?" JJ asked, raising a blonde brow in askance.

"I fully intend on blowing past any defenses you intend to muster," Dave replied easily. "So erect away, Agent Jareau. Just know that I'm prepared to drop a bomb on them," he warned.

"Stubborn bastard," JJ grumbled aloud even as she felt a small warmth growing in the pit of her stomach. "You KNOW nothing can ever happen between us."

"Oh, Jen," Dave smirked as he winked down at her, "That's where you're wrong, honey. Something ALREADY happened between us. Not nearly as much as I would have liked, but I've never taken advantage of a drunk or dosed woman in my life, and I wasn't about to start now. But, trust me, that little roofie you ingested only enhanced what you already felt for me. And don't think I haven't figured it out," he said smugly, wriggling his shaggy brows.

"You're insane," JJ breathed as his face hovered over hers, her heartbeat rapidly approaching what could only be described as critical mass.

"Perhaps," he assented with a wink. "But I'm also being truthful. And what's more...you KNOW it," he rumbled right before his persuasive lips covered hers again.


	18. Chapter 18

**Author's Note: We've got several notes for you today, guys, so hang with us for a second. **

_**First of all, we'd like to talk to you about our next challenge! **__**Wanna fun way to celebrate Halloween this year? Join us for our Round 5 Challenge – The Candy Land Adventure on Chit Chat on Author's Corner. Our challenges are open to any author, regardless of experience…and we have a spot ready for you. All you have to do is suggest a CM pairing and the name of a popular candy. We'll take all the suggestions, present them to the Great Pumpkin, then assign you a pairing & candy type at the first of October. You'll have a month to write your story, and it can be whatever you choose…drabble or epic, romance or friendship. And it does not have to be about Halloween or candy! For more information and to sign up, visit our forum, Chit Chat on Author's Corner, and click on Round 5 challenge!**_

**Second of all, we have exciting news, my friends! Nominating ballots for "The Profiler's Choice Awards" are ready and waiting for you at the "Chit Chat on Author's Corner" forum. So please, everyone, come on over and name some of your favorite fics and authors. Lets honor our favorite stories and authors on the CM site! We want to hear from you. Rules and guidelines are also available at the forum and as always, tonnie2001969 and I would be delighted to answer any questions that you may have. Now, let's get nominating! Our first ballots are beginning to trickle in and we love hearing from each of you! **

**For anyone willing to help us advertise the awards, we've created a short author's note template available on both my profile page (ilovetvalot) and my co-author's (tonnie2001969). We'd love to have everybody's help making this venture a huge and fun success. Please feel free to copy and paste it into your own author's notes and/or profiles! With your help, I believe this can become an annual event that we ALL look forward to seeing. I hope that you're all as eager as I am to see this incredible project lift off. And a very **_**BIG**_** thanks to all the authors helping us advertise these awards! We truly appreciate any assistance you can provide.**

**Additionally, we have a wonderful new interview for you at the forum as well. Come, as we get to know the talented cm4ever this week.**

**Also, we wanted to take a second to thank everyone that continues to read, review, favorite and alert our stories. Writing is a pleasure, but you guys, you make it worthwhile!**

**And please, fellow authors and readers, don't forget to get out there and nominate your favorite authors and stories. We're excited to hear from you!**

* * *

**The Spice Rack**

**Chapter Eighteen**

The sound of a door squeaking interrupted the intimate moment, and JJ suddenly heard the sharp trill of Penelope Garcia's laughter-filled voice.

"All right, you two, get a room!" the technical genius declared as she barreled through the hospital door, smiling widely at the slowly separating couple. Glancing around the impersonally decorated space, she added, ever so sweetly, "Oh, look, you already did! Too bad there's not room for Agent Tall Dark and Delicious in that bed with you, my drugged little blonde bombshell!"

"Garcia!" JJ exclaimed, her cheeks reddening as she turned flabbergasted eyes toward her supposedly best friend. Trying to straighten up in the bed, she said, as primly as possible, "I don't know what you're talking about!"

Chuckling as he wrapped his fingers around hers, Dave squeezed JJ's hand. "I think she's already seen the evidence, babe."

"Seeing is believing, you know," Garcia nodded, reaching back to open the door again as she loudly called out into the hallway, "Come on in, people. JJ's decent, much to Rossi's dismay."

Dropping her head against her pillow, JJ moaned as she closed her eyes, "She's never going to let me live this down, is she?"

"Knowing Garcia, probably not," Dave agreed, stroking his fingers against her wrist as he watched the rest of their team bustle into the small room.

"Oh, poo...honey, video speaks for itself," Garcia smirked over her shoulder, gesturing to the others waiting outside in the hallway. "And believe me, Peaches, the reel I'm in the process of editing is one for the ages."

Pressing her lips together, JJ glared at Dave, her eyes narrowing in suspicion. "What the hell did you let me do, Rossi?" she hissed under her breath.

Her bat-like ears missing nothing, Garcia didn't miss a beat before replying, "Oh, my little gumdrop, you were wrapped around our studly specimen here," she said, slapping Dave's shoulder with more force than he knew she possessed, "tighter than a boa constrictor on his prey. He couldn't shake you off." And winking at Dave, who had stumbled slightly, she added, "Not that you tried real hard, Agent Ardent."

Saved from reply as she heard chattering voices, JJ watched her team file into the room, heavy one honorary team member.

Hurrying toward the hospital bed, Cinnamon's darkly outlined eyes widened on her faux ex-spice. "Oh, honey," she moaned, her hands gripping the plastic railing, "I'm so sorry! If I'd known one of my girls was a fry short of a Happy Meal, this would have never happened."

"A few fries, Cin?" Dave asked gruffly, feeling as JJ's hand tightened in his, warning him to watch his words. "The woman was missing the damn hamburger!"

Frowning at Dave, JJ dug her nails into his palm before turning to smile at Madame Cinnamon. "It wasn't your fault, Cinnamon. This is one of the risks of the job and everything turned out just fine. We got the unsub and the only lasting effect I'll have is the embarrassment of my recent questionable behavior," she said, jerking her head toward Dave meaningfully.

"Well, chaos and killin' aside," Madame Cinnamon informed the gathered group excitedly, her face brightening, "I just want you to know that thanks to you, I had my most profitable night in two years. That cheerleader act of yours was the biggest him the Spice Rack has seen since Ginger let the customers cover her private bits and pieces with honey a few years back."

Smiling tightly, JJ replied weakly, searching wildly for the right words, "I'm so...thrilled."

"You sure I can't tempt you away from this little ole job of yours? I provide excellent benefits, up to and including major medical, worker's comp, and an expense account at VaVoom Veloray's House of Amore," Madame Cinnamon offered generously. "And, I'd make you a headlining spice right off the bat."

"I don't think so," JJ strangled, her words catching as the rest of the team laughed at the horror and hilarity of Madame Cinnamon's very serious offer.

"Well, I had to try," Cinnamon winked, shaking her coiffed head in disappointment.

"How are you feeling, JJ?" Emily asked then as she stepped forward, looking her friend over.

"Honestly?" JJ asked as she smiled tiredly at her friend. "Much like I'd imagine somebody feels after a week long bender," she admitted ruefully.

"You certainly channeled the buzzed babe beautifully," Morgan drawled, with a gleaming smile.

Looking at her colleague, JJ cocked her head as she blinked rapidly. "Why is there the indentation of a perfect circle in the center of your forehead, Derek?" she asked curiously.

Lips twitching, Hotch said dryly, "Our Agent Morgan had an unfortunate run-in with Anise's stiletto."

"I still say that thing was more lethal than any gun I've ever faced," Morgan grumbled, lifting a hand to rub his forehead, wincing at the movement. "And you said it wasn't that obvious!" he said, looking at Garcia with an accusing glare.

"No, what I said was that it could be worse," Garcia corrected cheerfully. "And it could have been. She could have penetrated that hard head of yours. Besides," Garcia snorted, "It's our little spice over there," she said, nodding toward the bed, "that we should be concerned about."

"I couldn't agree more," Reid nodded eagerly, frowning at JJ. "You ingested a mild dosage...but still. Being drugged by unsubs is definitely not an experience I would have recommended you endure," he said stiffly, remembering his own ordeal at the hands of Tobias Henkel.

"I'm okay, Reid," JJ said softly, her eyes softening as they fell on his pinched face. "Nothing that a nap and a couple of Tylenol won't cure," she said lightly, deliberately keeping her tone airy as she tried to reassure her teammate.

"And on that note, I think we'll leave you in your partner's capable hands," Hotch injected, nodding at Rossi. "The doctors said they'd release her this afternoon. I'm assuming that you'll be staying with her?"

"You assumed right," Dave nodded, meeting Hotch's eyes with an unwavering glance.

"Hey!" JJ said grumpily, wrinkling her nose, "Don't I have a little something to say about that?"

"No!" the room agreed in unison, the loud voices easily drowning out any future objections she might attempt to make.

"Face it, babe," Dave grinned down at her as the team filed back out of the room, "You need a keeper, and I just got the unanimous approval of our entire team AND a very saucy head Spice."

Groaning, JJ let her head fall back against the pillows and closed her eyes. Somehow she suspected her already very flavorful life was about to get a lot more spicy with the likes of David Rossi around.

_**Finis**_


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